Delighted By The Disappointing Silence Of An Absent Dad
Buoyed By The Blessings Of Being Bullied
Encouraged And Empowered By An Eating Disorder
Today if we turn to CNN, Fox News, Yahoo or Reuters, those are three headlines we will never read. And, if we did, they would only be news because of the absurd unlikeliness of the headline being true.
Last night some friends gathered and shared their stories. Our friends Kyle, Emma and Ellie stepped forward, up from the darkened rows of their seats and into the spotlight. In the glow of the stage lights surrounded by friends, fans and flawed people like them they spoke.
Posted on Friday, November 8, 2013
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values
Clear shot at an eight-point buck, missed.
Perfect moment for a first kiss, interrupted.
Business plan, rejected.
Cleaned the house, not good enough.
Sincere proposal, denied.
Studied hard, failed.
Doctor’s report, bad news.
Ran your best race, lost.
Life is filled with disappointments.
Life is filled with happiness-crushing hassles.
But that’s not the end of the story.
Despite our circumstances and doubts Happiness IS possible … for all of us.
Sometimes, the pursuit of happiness involves a change of mind, a new perspective, a reversal of direction. Sometimes it’s a mind-altering mysteries like, “great pain can become great possibilities and you can “pray your pain out.”
Posted on Thursday, August 1, 2013
in Emotional, How To, Social, Spiritual, Values
I’ll be in water, on water and underwater today.
The fear of drowning is one of my fears. It probably always has been a fear, but childhood bullying certainly made it worse. Sometimes I’m not even aware that I’m thinking about it.
Fear will try to stop us.
Doubts will try to stop us.
We’ll be tempted to duck responsibilities.
We’ll be tempted to from taking chances.
We’ll be tempted to lay low and avoid risks.
Fear has paralyzed many people from
– attempting great accomplishments
– facing great questions
– embracing great opportunities
– joining great adventures
– creating something new
– sharing gifts with others
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2013
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values
Yesterday my friend LeAndra posted on Facebook, “I have a love / hate relationship with this time of year…because of all the fireworks. I don’t know of I should hit the floor or look out the window at all the pretty colors…it all sounds like gun shots.”
She’s heard gun shots.
She’s heard fireworks.
Will the sound be followed by the beauty of celebration or the horror of violence?
The threat can be real; “hit the floor“.
Hit The Floor
LeAndra’s insightful comment reminded me of growing up bullied.
Two teens on two Tuesdays.
They made opposite decisions.
They experienced different outcomes.
A feared gang leader sauntered into the room.
He looked nervous, but none of the teens in the room saw it.
They saw “him.”
TreeHouse is an incredibly safe place.
Suddenly, for them, it felt unsafe.
I knew the reaction.
I didn’t know him.
He was required to be there.
He stayed ten minutes and left.
I followed, hoping we could have a conversation another day.
He didn’t stop.
He didn’t speak.
I never saw him again.
Sadly, he was killed in a gang-related incident within a year.
Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Sports, Values
“Things change. Change isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.”
Mark Anderson is speaking at TreeHouse’s Women of Hope event today.
Last night in a room-full of interested listeners Mark Anderson captivated us with humor, heart-ache and wisdom. In Mark’s inspiring story entitled “Defeat to Victory” he shared some strategies that have enabled him to overcome tremendous obstacles and achieve high levels of performance in his life.
Mark and his family faced many challenges growing up. Fortunately, as he said, “things change.”
If you’re like me, this has been a thought-provoking week.
The reader-response to this week’s mysilentscream.com had me thinking long and hard about the depth of our drama, the taste of our of trauma, and the deep pit in which some of our hidden pain resides.
Next week we’ll take a look at how to deal with our anger.
As this week concludes this ancient song — known as Psalm 51 — continues to echo through my mind as a prayer to God for help. 1
Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love.
Posted on Thursday, August 16, 2012
in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values
Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, and continued it yesterday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.”
One gracious reader read and replied, “I was raped by a guy when I was 22 I would judge him and say he needs help…because he did. (He victimized) 5 other women…but he is and was aware of what he was doing so I wouldn’t feel sympathy.”
As someone who has never experienced a rape I cannot begin to grasp the depth of how that would affect a victim, all I can say is “Wow, thank you you for your humble willingness to add your perspective to our dialogue.”
Remember me, I want revenge.
I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.
I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that. No way to get back. No way to gather forces. And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.
So many teens and adults are tense as the school year ends.
Teens who encounter their bullies with their last-day-of-school threats.
Bullies who want to make a final statement before summer.
Teachers whose patience has run out.
School administrators who are running on fumes.
Co-workers trying to figure out day care choices.
Colleagues worried about their unsupervised teens.
Police officers dreading the last day of school drama.
And, all of us who care about them.
Here’s some life-transforming advice for all of us:
Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.