“Things change.”

“Things change. Change isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.”

Mark Anderson is speaking at TreeHouse’s Women of Hope event today. 

Last night in a room-full of interested listeners Mark Anderson captivated us with humor, heart-ache and wisdom.  In Mark’s inspiring story entitled “Defeat to Victory” he shared some strategies that have enabled him to overcome tremendous obstacles and achieve high levels of performance in his life.

Mark and his family faced many challenges growing up. Fortunately, as he said, “things change.”

If you’re like me, this has been a thought-provoking week.

The reader-response to this week’s mysilentscream.com had me thinking long and hard about the depth of our drama, the taste of our of trauma, and the deep pit in which some of our hidden pain resides.

Next week we’ll take a look at how to deal with our anger.

As this week concludes this ancient song — known as Psalm 51 — continues to echo through my mind as a prayer to God for help. 1

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love.

Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, and continued it yesterday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.”

One gracious reader read and replied, “I was raped by a guy when I was 22 I would judge him and say he needs help…because he did. (He victimized) 5 other women…but he is and was aware of what he was doing so I wouldn’t feel sympathy.”

As someone who has never experienced a rape I cannot begin to grasp the depth of how that would affect a victim, all I can say is “Wow, thank you you for your humble willingness to add your perspective to our dialogue.”

Remember me, I want revenge.

I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.

I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that.  No way to get back.  No way to gather forces.  And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.

So many teens and adults are tense as the school year ends.

Teens who encounter their bullies with their last-day-of-school threats.
Bullies who want to make a final statement before summer.

Teachers whose patience has run out.
School administrators who are running on fumes.

Co-workers trying to figure out day care choices.
Colleagues worried about their unsupervised teens.
Police officers dreading the last day of school drama.

And, all of us who care about them.

Here’s some life-transforming advice for all of us:

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.

I hated swimming in gym class.

It wasn’t bad enough that I didn’t like swimming, but the school pool had more chlorine in it than a toxic waste dump.

I’m certain that I would win a substantial lawsuit if I videotaped the other humiliations projected upon me by the gym teachers, but my least favorite part of swimming was when the teacher was out of the room.

One day two upperclassmen held me under the water in the deep end so long that I ABSOLUTELY PANICKED.