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Sep 25

For Crying Out Loud

Posted on Tuesday, September 25, 2012 in Education, Emotional, Music, Relational, Social

Yesterday my co-worker Ash and I spoke at Champlin Park High School. (If you’re from CPHS, thanks for joining us again today on mysilentscream!)

As we talked about self-esteem I told a story of a particularly painful dating heartbreak.

After the breakup, all night long that night I played Meat Loaf’s album Bat Out Of Hell. In particular, I played “For Crying Out Loud over, and over, and over again.

And crying I did. At the time I couldn’t help myself. What I didn’t know at the time is how beneficial crying can be.

May 17

Hope For Lonely Lovers

Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

When we feel alone we look for relationships.
When we build relationships we look for connection.
When we recognize connection we hope for intimacy.
When we embrace intimacy…

… sometimes our hopes are dashed.

Our girlfriend is too manic.
Our boyfriend is too needy.
Our wife is too wounded.
Our husband is too self-centered.

And, it all comes crumbling down.

You can’t make her happy!
You can’t make him happy!
You feel so alone.

Left unchecked angry and loneliness are the ingredients for rage.

I hate this! Nothing makes sense.
I know I’m not good enough! And…
I know I will never be!

May 16

Ever Feel Alone?

Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.
You tried to make him happy and didn’t.
You tried to make her happy and didn’t.

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.

And Now…

You feel frustrated because life sucks, and your daydream begins to feel like a nightmare.  “My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.” 1 

And people find out what happened.  They start talking about what they think happened.  They start guessing what you did, or what you could have or should have done.  Then they start gossiping, “Their insults have broken my heart…If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” 2

May 15

You Can’t Make Her Happy!

Posted on Tuesday, May 15, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social

Too often we feel responsible for someone else’s happiness.

The Lie

We believe the lie that “I can make someone happy,” and “I can make someone unhappy.”

Because we embrace those lies when relationships fall apart so do we.

She believes, “I wasn’t a good enough girlfriend, so he left me.”
He believes, “I was not there for her when she needed me most, so she left me.”
She believes, “I’m a failure, so he left me.”
He believes, “I unconsciously drove her away, so she left me.”
They believe, “I wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening, so … my heart breaks.”

May 14

You Can’t Make Him Happy!

Posted on Monday, May 14, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Sports, Values

In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.”  Yesterday I reviewed the book The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.

In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules, but baseball is a piece of cake compared to “the code” we try to decode when we’re in relationships.

Code – “It’s not working out…”

She seemed so sweet.  We’d text one another all day, every day.  Now nothing.  I guess I didn’t make her happy.