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Jan 10

Just Faking It

Posted on Thursday, January 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

This past weekend I was in a conversation with a group of people about when they received their first pair of glasses. I received my first pair of glasses in second grade. I couldn’t read the blackboard in school very well.

One person said third grade.
Another said fifth grade.
A fourth person said, “in junior high.”

“Really?”, I asked.
He added, “Well, I needed them years before, but I was just faking it.”

Just Faking It

Ah, just faking it.

Too often we fake reality wishing it was different, when it’s not.

Dec 31

Parties & Problems

Posted on Monday, December 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

You freely admit it. You’re a social guy. It doesn’t matter where the action is—you want to be in on it. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with his best buddies on a Saturday night?

On this particular Saturday night, however, there’s a problem. Your parents are out of town for the night, and you promised you’d stay home. Alone. As in you, yourself, and the family goldfish.

But then Drew calls. The movie’s over, and the guys are looking for a place to chill. Nothing wild, just to hang out, play some Xbox, unwind. You know you should say no. You gave your word. But Drew can be persuasive, and he knows your parents are gone. Before you know it, you’ve invited five guys over.

Dec 17

The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth

Posted on Monday, December 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

Twenty years ago as I was working through some of my unresolved anger I saw The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth on a book shelf. 

This book’s insights, probing questions and the subsequent dialogues that followed certainly contributed to my healing.  In turn, I have shared insights from this book with several people.

Fortunately, for all of us this book has been re-released.  

Carter and Minirth explain their Thirteen Steps Toward Anger Management:

Step 1. Learn to recognize the many faces of anger.

Step 2. Admit that all angry expressions, good or bad, are the result of choices.

Dec 11

Our Journey Our Fear

Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

Jesus Christ’s journey meant that he spent time at parties, dinners, friends’ houses, and enemies’ houses. 

He learned.
He listened.

He told jokes.
He gave hugs.
He laughed.

Jesus explained to the the people, “I am the world’s Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.

The Pharisees objected, ‘All we have is your word on this. We need more than this to go on.‘” 1

I couldn’t agree more.
Not with Jesus.
With the Pharisees.

Dec 10

The Journey

Posted on Monday, December 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

The Journey Is As Important As the Destination

Traveling through the Twin Cities today has been anything but easy.
– Lengthy delays
– Slippery streets
– Stressed drivers
– Exhausted snowplow drivers
– Anxious bus drivers
– Fed up commuters
– Snow-day praying students who got a “no” answer

Our Destination

Our destination is just a tiny slice of our journey.
– We worry about approval
– We strain toward goals
– We stretch for benchmarks
– We dream about the future
– And too often we miss the present

When we’re fixated on the next, we miss the now.

Nov 21

Compassion & Generosity

Posted on Wednesday, November 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom. 

The first lesson the wise would teach us is Don’t Hold Grudges
The second lesson was Take Care Of Your Health.

Compassion Makes Sense

Compassion is more important than pleasure. Many people intentionally blind themselves to the needs of others. When I didn’t listen to my mom my mom would call it “selective listening.”

Nov 19

A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom – Don’t Hold Grudges

Posted on Monday, November 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders.  I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

I would ask: 

I know that you have spent your career with men and women older than yourself. In that time you have listened and learned as they’ve talked about their lives and their values. You have gathered insights and wisdom from their successes and their failures.

This year I’m turning 50 and I’m starting to feel middle-aged. I don’t know how old you are, but I know you’ve learned from those older than us.

Aug 25

Watch The Way You Talk

Posted on Saturday, August 25, 2012 in Uncategorized

Watch the way you talk — don’t use foul or abusive language, stop all your dirty talk, do not say harmful things, do not let any unwholesome talk come out, nothing foul or dirty — say the right thing at the right time — each word a gift, good and helpful — and help others by what you say.

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them; say what people need — words that will help others become stronger — words for building others become stronger so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them, that it may benefit those who listen. 1

Aug 24

Think Good Thoughts

Posted on Friday, August 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

Last night I was relaxing while listening to Jack Johnson’s “En Concert.”  He’s the kind of artist that helps me relax and feel less alone in my feelings — without prompting me to wallow in them.

His song, “Symbol In My Driveway”, off the On and On album proclaims:

I’ve got a light bulb full of anger
And I can switch it on and off

And, in my best moments, I can shut off my anger; assuring that I neither stuff nor hide my anger.

Shut Off Our Anger

Aug 23

Expressing Your Anger 2 of 2

Posted on Thursday, August 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

We can express our anger in healthy and mature ways, or not. Most of us have a hybrid healthy-dysfunctional anger management style. Here is an assessment that might help us to examine ways that we handle anger.

Yesterday we explored Two (of the Five) Ways to Handle Anger, here are the remaining three:

Three (of the Five) Ways to Handle Anger 1

3. Passive Aggression

Like open aggression, anger expressed through passive aggression involves preserving personal worth, needs, and convictions at someone else’s expense. But it differs in that it is accomplished in a quieter manner, causing less vulnerability.