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Aug 27

12 Ways To Encourage A Child (Ages 0-118)

Posted on Wednesday, August 27, 2014 in Relational

quantitative-58283_640Angry teens.
Parents in pain.
Explosive children.
Perplexed neighbors.

What can we do?

Every child I’ve met wants to be affirmed that they are lovable, capable and worthwhile.

We can start there.

12 Ways To Encourage A Child (Ages 0-118)

“You Are Lovable!”: Give attention to their character.
– Who they are has greater value than what they achieve.
– Accept mistakes; show grace.
– Bad decisions, poor choices and mistakes can be great teachers.
– Offer unconditional love. Trust can be conditional, love cannot.

“You Are Capable!”

Aug 26

Broken Mirrors

Posted on Tuesday, August 26, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

broken-mirror-1128615-mShouting.
Crash.
Slam.

He could hear the yelling from the neighbors’ house every night.

Shouts of anger.
Shouts of pain.
Shouts of passion.
He wondered,
“Was there any gain?”

The Cost of Turmoil

Teens, families, friendships and all kinds of relationships suffer because of the lack of peaceful conflict resolution skills. Conflicts arise, those involved feel hurt, disappointed, afraid or frustrated, and it quickly turns into anger. Anger often erupts in retaliation or brutal honesty. Alienation increases, relationships are broken, and scars are formed.

Jun 27

I Worry And I Hate It

Posted on Friday, June 27, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Sports, TreeHouse, Values

Marcus_HudsonI don’t always realize how worry and anxiety affect me. In fact, if asked I would say that I don’t worry very often.

But then something happens, it happens most often in competitive settings.

I want to live a joy-filled life, but too often I have settled for wanting to be successful.

Success or Joy?

When have I chosen the pursuit of success over joy?

I complain when I think Halo or Call of Duty is being unfair to me.
I yell at myself – out loud – when I make a mistake playing tennis.
I become commanding when l am playing football. 1
I pout when my teammates make mistakes.

Jun 23

I SCREAMED

Posted on Monday, June 23, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Sports, Values

tennis-time-2-1181224-mI SCREAMED on Father’s Day.

I screamed.
More than once.
Honestly, it was shocking to me.
And, I was the screamer.

We we having fun as a fam playing tennis.
I know how I play tennis.
But, I haven’t played in a while.
My knowledge and my skills didn’t jive.

One miss-hit led to another and another.
Anger built.
Anger boiled.
I SCREAMED!

I’m screamed at myself, because…

Jun 20

Stop

Posted on Friday, June 20, 2014 in Emotional, Intellectual, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sign-stop-95477_640Our Story

It’s heartbreaking to see people in pain. It’s perplexing to hear of loved ones who hurt one another.

Most people try to help not hurt. Most people look for solutions not problems, but  too often the solutions slam one another.

“Good people” gossip.
“Kind-hearted” people talk behind backs.
“Loving” people SCREAM angrily!

Foolish, hurtful solutions to initiate change.

And so, each of us must give an account to God for what we do…Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.” 1

Jun 13

(Mostly) Happlily Ever After

Posted on Friday, June 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Amy & ME“Love you gorgeous, I’ll be in there in ten minutes.”

It’s 2:00 A.M.  I just said that as Amy woke from her late night nap and staggered off to bed. I’ve said similar things hundreds of times.

Quirks

Schedules: Since we were married 27 years ago today I have gone to sleep second 98% of the time. Often times I am last to sleep and first one awake. We have almost always had different schedules.

Jun 12

Push Through Your Fear

Posted on Thursday, June 12, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

think-1313532-mYesterday I would have screamed, “Don’t Act Like A Jerk!” if I wasn’t so aware of my tone of voice.

My tone of voice and the underlying thoughts and feelings have tripped me up more than I’d like to admit. Before I got around to admitting it, in this post, I asked: What should you be seeing in your own life? What do you let stand in the way of seeing it?

Hopefully you’ll think about that a while, but in the meantime with an honest assessment in hand, I’ll tell you how I’m dealing with my contribution to the turmoil I tend to create.

Jun 11

My Tone

Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sad face-110104_640What are you adding to your team? We all have something to add, but are we contributing and aware that we are?

We all have our quirks
. In a team setting, how do your quirks add value and how do they add drama?

Unfortunately, too often those quirks can make us look like jerks if we let them.

My “Tone”

Wow, do I hate those words. Not because someone doesn’t have a right to say them. Nor that they shouldn’t say them to me, but now, because they brought it up, I have to take an honest look at myself.

May 13

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

Posted on Tuesday, May 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

stained_glass_crossI went to a funeral last week.
I looked around.
I captured the moment.

I saw the faces that filled the spaces.

The grief was clear.
The sadness is tender.
The care was genuine.
The affection was deep.
The appreciation was sincere.

I saw regret wash over some faces.

Maybe for Vern; the dear man who passed away. Maybe, or more likely, for words never spoken to others.

It’s true, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” 1

So, on their behalf, and for each of us, here are two words of wisdom:

May 11

Mothers Day Apologies You Might Need

Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Spiritual, Values

mother-sonI don’t know what to say.

I don’t want to say it wrong.”

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard those two phrases. I even color-coded them, because most often I’ve heard girls and women say the second, and boys and men say the first.

Why? Hurt people hurt people.

Regardless what your mother has said or done, intentionally or not, with genuine love, misguided “love” or with hate in her heart, her choices are her choices, her attitudes are her attitudes. And, yours are yours.

Do not try to change the other person, the change starts with ourselves.