RSS Feed
Jan 29

Letting Go of Judging People

Posted on Wednesday, January 29, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

beware file6041256515337After I wrote a mysilentscream post on not judging others I read Letting Go of Judging People By Leo Babauta. I liked it, and I thought that you would too.

Letting Go of Judging People 1

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

Jan 27

Frigid Temps Frozen Hearts

Posted on Monday, January 27, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

frozen_heart_by_ttojA tank of gas
A charged battery
Approaching the car
With a silent plea

A capable driver
Determined as could be
Key in the ignition
Cranked one-two-three

A pause to regather
A second attempt
A hope and a prayer
Discouragement tempt

Barely a flicker
Not even a purr
The car didn’t start
A frozen heart.

Frozen Heart

I have TWO hearts!
One warmed by love.
One frozen in the freezer.

Too often the frozen heart has been more obvious.
I’m so busy caring about my wants, I forget to care about their needs.

Jan 7

19 Proven Relationship Tips from Lizzy & Bueno

Posted on Tuesday, January 7, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

Lizzy and Bueno 20140107_15pI’ve spent more than twenty years “Inspiring Great Relationships Every Day.” I enjoy when I can pass on something I am learning, but many times in those conversations it was me who was the learner.

Today was no different.

Today I sat down with my friends Lizzy and Bueno. We laughed. We told stories. We love gardening so we exchanged seeds. And we talked.

In a world desperate for positive role models, over the past three years Lizzy and Bueno have been role models of what a healthy relationship looks like.

Jan 6

3 Cures For The Chills

Posted on Monday, January 6, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

1-Window

 

If you think this winter is cold, you’re right.

But, be glad you’re not in Antarctica.

NationalGeographic.com reported that on August 10, 2010 scientists “measured the most frigid temperature ever recorded … about -136°F (-93°C) — colder than dry ice.”

Chilly Relationships

Spend any time in a mall and you’ll see freezing temperatures, indoors.

You’ll see frustrated and impatient men. You’ll see angry and frustrated women. People who’d say they love one another, but kindle coldness. The heat of their romance has formed a chill.

Nov 7

Pray Your Pain Out

Posted on Thursday, November 7, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

LightningWe’re all looking for happiness, and despite our doubts Happiness IS possiblefor all of us.

Sometimes, the pursuit of happiness involves a change of mind, a new perspective, a reversal of direction. Sometimes it’s a mind-altering mystery like, “Great pain can become great possibilities.”

Pray Your Pain Out

There are many reasons I have chosen to follow Jesus Christ, but one of the nearest and dearest reasons is that despite my sins, shortcomings, and slanderous rants God has not blown me up with a bolt of lightning. Not that God ever threatened to do so, but you know sometimes I just think I deserved it.

Nov 3

You’ll Get Through This by Max Lucado

Posted on Sunday, November 3, 2013 in Emotional, Reviews, Spiritual, Values

Book.940.coverI read widely; because of the nature of my profession I read widely about pain and suffering. Some books are a blessing and others add to the burden.

Too often they contain secular philosophies that minimize or deny our divine connections. Others have psychologies that reduce our pain to warm-fuzzy banality. Worse yet are religious books that create empty lists of rules that either explain our pain as a consequence that can be blighted by good deeds or ones that explain it away in eternal language removed from the reality of real life.

Oct 28

Listening to Understand

Posted on Monday, October 28, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

scream-37172-mA year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Listen In

“I can’t stand it!”, she said. An exasperated parent continued, “Don’t you hate it when you are in a nice restaurant and enjoying your meal and suddenly a screaming kid ruins it?” Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “I can’t stand when my mood and my meal is ruined someone’s screaming children.” As her angry exposition continued her face contorted, “This time it was MY son!”

Oct 18

6 Reasons To Check Your Tongue

Posted on Friday, October 18, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sign-donotcrushWe’ve all done it.
We’ve lashed out.
Defended ourselves.
Attacked the other.
We justified our choices.
We felt our self-pity.

That might have “worked” in the past.
There is another way.
The time is now to model a new strategy.

The Truth

You’ve been hurt. You’ve left the wounds. You’ve felt the hurtful words and you’ve thrown the verbal jabs and painful punches.

It’s counter-cultural, but I’d really like to encourage you to take to heart the value of humility.

Oct 17

Honest But Hurtful

Posted on Thursday, October 17, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

freeimage-2675170-webJustified By Anger

“You gotta be yourself…”
“I was like…”
“But then that b**** said…”

“She talks too much!
“I woulda told that hoe…”
“But that stupid b**** said…”

“Hey, I’m just being REAL…”
“I’ve gotta be able to say how I feel. I don’t care, I’m stand up.”

I know you’ve heard it.
Have you thought it?
Maybe you said it.

Justified By Self-Pity

Can’t relate to any of those? How about the awkward moment when you realize you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway. Or your daydreaming your way through those perfect conversations where finally everyone agrees the other person was at fault.

Oct 16

Joy Heals

Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Rather than wound others, we can bring healing.

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” 1

1387838_melon-loving_girlWhen we respect both ourselves and the other person by choosing not to call anyone names, use putdowns, or attack with insults we make the world a better place.

Why?

Because name-calling hurts, “being called a name won’t admit you to a hospital, but words that shame wound deeply and can still hurt years later. After all, broken bones can be fixed, but hurtful words and taunts can cause pain for a lifetime. Insults, like name-calling, can create self-doubt that doesn’t go away. It’s even worse if a parent hurls verbal abuse.” 2