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Jan 29

Letting Go of Judging People

Posted on Wednesday, January 29, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

beware file6041256515337After I wrote a mysilentscream post on not judging others I read Letting Go of Judging People By Leo Babauta. I liked it, and I thought that you would too.

Letting Go of Judging People 1

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

Jan 27

Frigid Temps Frozen Hearts

Posted on Monday, January 27, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

frozen_heart_by_ttojA tank of gas
A charged battery
Approaching the car
With a silent plea

A capable driver
Determined as could be
Key in the ignition
Cranked one-two-three

A pause to regather
A second attempt
A hope and a prayer
Discouragement tempt

Barely a flicker
Not even a purr
The car didn’t start
A frozen heart.

Frozen Heart

I have TWO hearts!
One warmed by love.
One frozen in the freezer.

Too often the frozen heart has been more obvious.
I’m so busy caring about my wants, I forget to care about their needs.

Jan 7

19 Proven Relationship Tips from Lizzy & Bueno

Posted on Tuesday, January 7, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

Lizzy and Bueno 20140107_15pI’ve spent more than twenty years “Inspiring Great Relationships Every Day.” I enjoy when I can pass on something I am learning, but many times in those conversations it was me who was the learner.

Today was no different.

Today I sat down with my friends Lizzy and Bueno. We laughed. We told stories. We love gardening so we exchanged seeds. And we talked.

In a world desperate for positive role models, over the past three years Lizzy and Bueno have been role models of what a healthy relationship looks like.

Jan 6

3 Cures For The Chills

Posted on Monday, January 6, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

1-Window

 

If you think this winter is cold, you’re right.

But, be glad you’re not in Antarctica.

NationalGeographic.com reported that on August 10, 2010 scientists “measured the most frigid temperature ever recorded … about -136°F (-93°C) — colder than dry ice.”

Chilly Relationships

Spend any time in a mall and you’ll see freezing temperatures, indoors.

You’ll see frustrated and impatient men. You’ll see angry and frustrated women. People who’d say they love one another, but kindle coldness. The heat of their romance has formed a chill.

Nov 8

Life’s Tests

Posted on Friday, November 8, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

tired_lost_sportmanClear shot at an eight-point buck, missed.
Perfect moment for a first kiss, interrupted.
Business plan, rejected.
Cleaned the house, not good enough.
Sincere proposal, denied.
Studied hard, failed.
Doctor’s report, bad news.
Ran your best race, lost.

Life is filled with disappointments.
Life is filled with happiness-crushing hassles.

But that’s not the end of the story.

Despite our circumstances and doubts Happiness IS possiblefor all of us.

Sometimes, the pursuit of happiness involves a change of mind, a new perspective, a reversal of direction. Sometimes it’s a mind-altering mysteries like, “great pain can become great possibilities and you can “pray your pain out.”

Nov 7

Pray Your Pain Out

Posted on Thursday, November 7, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

LightningWe’re all looking for happiness, and despite our doubts Happiness IS possiblefor all of us.

Sometimes, the pursuit of happiness involves a change of mind, a new perspective, a reversal of direction. Sometimes it’s a mind-altering mystery like, “Great pain can become great possibilities.”

Pray Your Pain Out

There are many reasons I have chosen to follow Jesus Christ, but one of the nearest and dearest reasons is that despite my sins, shortcomings, and slanderous rants God has not blown me up with a bolt of lightning. Not that God ever threatened to do so, but you know sometimes I just think I deserved it.

Oct 28

Listening to Understand

Posted on Monday, October 28, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

scream-37172-mA year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Listen In

“I can’t stand it!”, she said. An exasperated parent continued, “Don’t you hate it when you are in a nice restaurant and enjoying your meal and suddenly a screaming kid ruins it?” Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “I can’t stand when my mood and my meal is ruined someone’s screaming children.” As her angry exposition continued her face contorted, “This time it was MY son!”

Oct 17

Honest But Hurtful

Posted on Thursday, October 17, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

freeimage-2675170-webJustified By Anger

“You gotta be yourself…”
“I was like…”
“But then that b**** said…”

“She talks too much!
“I woulda told that hoe…”
“But that stupid b**** said…”

“Hey, I’m just being REAL…”
“I’ve gotta be able to say how I feel. I don’t care, I’m stand up.”

I know you’ve heard it.
Have you thought it?
Maybe you said it.

Justified By Self-Pity

Can’t relate to any of those? How about the awkward moment when you realize you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway. Or your daydreaming your way through those perfect conversations where finally everyone agrees the other person was at fault.

Sep 11

We ARE Loved

Posted on Wednesday, September 11, 2013 in Emotional, Music, Spiritual, Values

Some people always seem to have a song running through their minds, I almost never do. This morning I woke up to this playing in my mind

He Loves Us

It’s such good news for me.

Mysilentscream had been silent for a while for two reasons:
- I’d been very busy
- I’d been very sad and angry (I’ll tell you more another day)
But, God has been cracking through the crust of my crap.
I’m blessed and grateful for it.

The words keep echoing in my mind:

Jun 18

Peacemaker

Posted on Tuesday, June 18, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

0imagesDonald Miller’s post yesterday entitled, “Learning to Turn the Other Cheek (Even Though I HATE Critics)” got me thinking, “How would I respond to attacks?” I assumed I would respond defensively and with self-pity.

Jesus

Blessed are the peacemakers…Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness.“1

Last night as I read Philip Yancey’s book The Jesus I Never Knew about those verses this account challenged my thinking.