What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?

Your parent may be right.
Your parent may be wrong.
Your teen may be realistic.
Your teen may be deluded.

One principle helps me make sense of other people — even very smart people — who make stupid choices.

The principle: Most people do what they believe makes sense.

This weekend teens  will:
– Lie to their parents about where they are going
– Lie to their parents about what they will be doing
– Lie to their parents about where they will spend the night
– Lie to their parents about who they will be with

Taxes are due this week.  Tax preparers prepare tax returns, but what’s a mom to do with her drunk son?

Let me explain.

Desean loved his friends.  It’s not that he disliked his family, he just loved to get out of his noisy, cramped apartment to have fun. 1

One night, a Wednesday night, Desean stayed out late. 

His mom and sister trusted him, but this was a school night, and he was late.  Not only was he late, but he wasn’t answering his cell phone.  His sister started to worry, but it wasn’t until Desean’s younger sister called their mom did she even know that he was late.

I grew up in suburban Chicago with my Mom and Dad, and sister, Kristie.

Looking for Faith

Our family has Lutheran roots, but we were not regular church attendees.

When I was seven years old I was invited by my neighbors to Grace Community Church. 

John Schulmeister was the first person I remember hearing say, “Jesus Christ died for your sins.” That night I asked Jesus to forgive my sins.

I remember it seemed like an obvious decision. I knew that I had sinned. I trusted that Jesus was willing to forgive my sins, and asked him to do so.

Oh, I know, you might be thinking, “‘Don’t Be Stupid!’, what right does he have…?”  well, none.  Actually, it’s a phrase that has been used in our house often.  Most often directed at me.

“Don’t be stupid” is a quick phrase we use to remind each other to think before we act.  So on behalf of all the people like me I offer these three pieces of New Year’s Eve advice.

Don’t Be Stupid!

Three weeks ago, in the first conversation we ever had she – I’ll call her “Winnie” – screamed at me in public.

I had confronted her boyfriend for breaking the TreeHouse P.D.A. (public display of affection) rules.  He didn’t deny it and never complained about how I addressed him.

Winnie, on the other hand, screamed at me in full view of everyone: “That’s so unfair.  You’re just like my father.   I want to ******* kill you!!!”  Mustering up some more venom, she added, “I’d like to tear your ******* head off!!!”