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Jun 6

Moving On From Mistakes

Posted on Friday, June 6, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

hand-70508_640I can’t.
I won’t.

Never again.
It was a mistake.

“We all have times when we find it difficult to avoid making too much of our mistakes and perceived failures. But how do you not take rejection personally? How do you not feel like your world is crashing down around you?” 1

Moving On From Mistakes

Alice Boyes on PsychCentral identified seven ways to avoid personalizing errors and rejection. I commend her insights and I think you will too.  Note: Tips 1-3 were discussed yesterday.

Jun 5

Coping With “Unworthy”

Posted on Thursday, June 5, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

hammer02Most of us like to be chosen.
But, it feels almost offensive to be chosen when we feel unworthy.
The key is when we feel unworthy, not to settle for it.

Feeling unworthy is a vicious trap.

One of the keys to breaking free is separating truth from lies, fact from fiction and real from imagined.

Losing your job will not defeat you, believing it’s useless to try again will.

Losing your health will not defeat you, believing you’re useless will.

Failing in school will not defeat you, believing it’s hopeless will.

Jun 4

Rejecting Acceptance

Posted on Wednesday, June 4, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

girl help 1377798978mjnfxIt’s nice to be chosen.

To be chosen as a teammate.
To be hired as a colleague.
To be honored with a scholarship.
To be selected for a role in a play.
To be invited to join a small group.

It’s nice to be chosen, unless it isn’t.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when needy people demand our attention.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when you know you’re misunderstood.

It isn’t nice to be chosen
by a manipulative person.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
as a crush by the wrong person.

Jan 29

Letting Go of Judging People

Posted on Wednesday, January 29, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

beware file6041256515337After I wrote a mysilentscream post on not judging others I read Letting Go of Judging People By Leo Babauta. I liked it, and I thought that you would too.

Letting Go of Judging People 1

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

Aug 15

Prized

Posted on Thursday, August 15, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

Clay-cutWhen I was a child I loved testing out the rifle-shooting games in arcades. And though I was typically right-handed, I usually shot left-handed. When I was young shooting left-handed was probably trying something new. When I was a teen I thought shooting left-handed was me being unique. As an adult I realized that I shot left-handed because I was left-eye dominant. I saw better shooting left handed. I shot better left-handed.

Jun 27

You Get Me

Posted on Thursday, June 27, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

teenage_brother_and_sisterI spend a lot of time with loud, laughing teenagers. I love their energy. I love their whimsy. I love their willingness to have fun.

Have you ever been in a store, library or restaurant and noticed a group of teens gathered near you who were louder than anyone else?

Maybe they were aware of how loud they were.
Maybe they were not.

I also spend a fair amount of time with “socially awkward” teens. Some are more awkward than others:
– They ask questions at inopportune times:
“Can we go to McDonalds now?”

– They uninhibitedly comment, assess and judge:
“Scott, you’re an xxxhole.”

– They uninhibitedly say what most people would not:
“I like (masturbating).”

Jan 16

Need A Jump-Start? Try Forgiveness.

Posted on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Need a jump-start for your character?

Try forgiveness.

Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others.

There are three common possibilities after conflict occurs:
– Conflict escalates
– Conflict goes underground
– Conflict is resolved constructively

So often when we screw up we respond one of three ways:
– Defend
– Deflect or Deny
– Deal with it

Fortunately, our perspective does not limit God’s perspective.

Jan 6

Beyond Whatever – A Revolution Of Love

Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2011 in Beyond Whatever Promos, Relational, Spiritual

I worked the graveyard shift as a desk clerk in suburban Chicago.  While the weekend night were often busy late into the night, many nights I had lots of free time.   I was confined to a small space in a locked office behind glass.  I spoke through a slot below the glass.  I exchanged money and passed room keys through that small opening.

Yes, there were lonely, sleepy nights.

Alone I had several options.  I watched television.  I listened to music. Occasionally I napped.   As a newly committed God-follower I spent hours reading my Bible.