Posted on Wednesday, May 4, 2011 in Uncategorized
Why do people cut? There are many reasons. One reason is the fear of the unknown. He cut because he is afraid. She continues to cut because she knows the subtle benefits that prompted her to begin cutting initially. She’s afraid to stop. He fears that if he stops cutting he may make his life worse.
What they don’t know seems scarier than their present level of pain or anxiety.
People want to feel safe. We want to feel secure. We prefer control. We resist change.
Why People Resist Change
– Lack of involvement and ownership in the family, relationship, school or workplace.
– Change disrupts old habits forcing us to reevaluate and unlearn routines.
– Change creates inconvenience, insecurities, a fear of the unknown and a fear of failure.
– Absence or lack of information helps creates insecurity.
– A previous lack of trust and respect for authority figures may contribute to our fear.
– We perceive that the disadvantages far outweigh possible advantages of change.
– Authority figures, including parents, resist change because it may challenge previous plans and directions.
– Change demands added an additional time commitment from already busy and weary people.
– Old habits, thinking and traditions resist change because they may be preferred.
– A culture of stubbornness and we’ve “always done it this way” resists change.
– How can you help your cutter to build a sense of security to feel safe to change?
How To Create A Climate Of Change
– Create an environment of open communication to build more healthy and trusting relationships.
– Make personal changes before asking others to make their own changes.
– Learn “the why” we’ve done what we have done in the past before making changes for the future.
– Get input from others before making the change. Also, encourage each person to offer to support one another.
– Stand firm that positive change will happen and that it is never too late to make positive changes.
– Most importantly, pray for wisdom.
Pray for wisdom. God promises wisdom to everyone who asks without embarrassing us for asking. [James 1:5]
Note: These two lists are adapted from John C. Maxwell’s Developing The Leader Within You.