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Feb 13

Saying No

Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

NOFor many of us, “No” is the first word that we spoke.

And, we heard it throughout our childhood:
“No, you can’t do that.”
“No, you’re not old enough.”
“No, you’re not big enough.”

As we got older people used “No” as a weapon:
“No, you’re not pretty enough.”
“No, you’re not smart enough.”
“No, you’re not good enough.”

“No” can protect.
“No” can push away.

Push-Away Politely

Scenarios: You are – asked out, flirted with, asked to dance, offered a drink, etc. – by someone you’re not interested in. What can you do?

I love this list: 1

Say “no”. The word “no” has power. Don’t be afraid to use it. Be careful about using wimpy substitute phrases, such as “I’m not sure” or “I don’t think I can.” These can be interpreted to mean that you might say yes later.

Be brief. State your reason for saying “no”, but don’t go on about it. Avoid long explanations.

Be honest. The truth is always the best way to turn someone down.

Be respectful. Say “no” as respectfully as you would like someone to say it to you.

Be ready to repeat. You may find it necessary to refuse a request several times before the other person accepts your response. When that happens, just hit the replay button. Calmly repeat your no, with or without your explanation, as needed.

How you say it matters. Here are 3 Quick Rules:

1. Don’t be a jerk. If you’re never going to be interested, don’t hurt them.

2. Don’t be vague. If you’re never going to be interested, don’t give them hope.

3. Don’t be dishonest. If you’re never going to be interested, don’t lie about it.
– Don’t say you have a bf/gf if you don’t.
– Don’t say you’re not going to the dance/movie/party/prom if you’re still planning to go.
– Lying disrespects you & your reputation
– Lying disrespects her/him & says, “I won’t respect you enough to be honest with you.”

Be truthful in your excuses.

It’s unfair to lead a person on, but it’s worse to find out that you were lied to.

Here are TEN Honest & Clear Ways To Say “No”

You can say: “No, thank you.”
You can say: “No. I’m sorry, I can’t.”
You can say: “No. Thank you, I’m not interested.”
You can say: “No. I have other priorities right now.”
You can say: “No. I really like you, but let’s just stay friends.”

You can say: “No. I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in you like that.”
You can say: “No. I’m not the best person for you. Why don’t you try _____?”
You can say: “No. You’re right. I used to be interested in you, but I’m not anymore.”
You can say: “No. It was nice to meet you, but I’m not interested in more than that.”
You can say: “No. You’re a great opportunity for somebody, but you’re not right for me.”

1 – Adapted from How To Say No

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