Remember me, I want revenge.
I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.
I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that. No way to get back. No way to gather forces. And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.
Desperate for Revenge
Samson had revenge fantasies too.
Samson had been strong, powerful, popular and courageous. He was also prideful, arrogant, lustful and a liar, but no longer. He was now a desperate, lonely, humiliated prisoner.
In a moment of renewed courage — courage to pray to a God you betrayed, and courage to believe you might be able to do the unbelievable — Samson prayed. He said, “Sovereign Lord, remember me again. O God, please strengthen me just one more time. With one blow let me pay back the Philistines for the loss of my two eyes.” 1
You can read Samson’s story here.
Desperate for Justice
Anger untamed builds into resentment. Resentment that’s not dealt with desires for revenge. Jesus Christ knew that perilous slope should not be descended. “I’m telling you”, Jesus said, “that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.” 2
We often believe that strong, powerful, popular and courageous are the winners. Jesus had another perspective: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” 3
Meekness has been defined — not as weakness, but — as power under control.
“The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God’s estimate of his own life.” 4
You and I need to stop being fooled about ourselves. We need to accept God’s estimate of our lives.
– Your value is not determined by your circumstance.
– Your worth is not measured by your achievements.
– You are lovable, capable and worthwhile.
You might want to join me as I pray:
“Please God protect me from my anger.
– Forgive me for my misguided thinking.
– Forgive me for the lies I believe that justify my resentment.
– Forgive me for my desire for revenge.
Help me to remember who I am.”
This is mysilentscream!
1 – Judges 16:28, NLT
2 – Matthew 5:22-23, MSG
3 – Matthew 5:5, NIV
4 – Chapter 9, Meekness and Rest, in The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer