Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 in Uncategorized
I’m Afraid Of A Relapse!
THE QUESTION: Last week, my daughter was released to go home from the psych ward. After she got depressed, she cut herself. I was afraid that she’d try to commit suicide. How do I know he/she won’t slide back into this again?
OUR REPLY: “Don’t focus on what might happen (but probably won’t); focus instead on things that affirm your future and guide your eyes toward hopefulness. You can both set and achieve short-term goals and remember to focus your attention on the positive things that you have in your lives.”
Small Stupid Things
“I’m afraid to go home”, she said. “My mom and I always fought. Every day we fought over such small stupid things.” Sound familiar?
A lot of family stress is caused by relatively “small stupid things.” Some families erupt after the garbage didn’t get taken out, the dishes were left undone, a ride was late, a bill unpaid, no chips, the wrong flavor of ice cream, or too little Mountain Dew. Someone should have done it, and it was certainly not you. While looking for someone to blame sadly all the peace, good feelings, and happy memories fade. Next thing you know, Spring Break, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, or a family vacation was ruined by “small stupid things.”
The blame game is always a lose-lose scenario. Assigning blame never helps. Most of the time it doesn’t matter who is at fault. What’s most important is that family members and friends refuse to allow the good feelings between them to be destroyed by finger pointing.
Don’t expect perfection from your friends, your girlfriend or boyfriend, your partner, or your parent…or yourself. Perfectionism almost always ends up creating unnecessary stress because it’s a standard of behavior and decision making that’s impossible to achieve.
There’s no such thing as the perfect friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, partner, parent, pet or person.
It’s also self-destructive and damaging to others to expect otherwise.
Here’s Hope For All Of Us Who Relapse, Slip Up, and Backslide
Fortunately, the Bible teaches that if we screw up we should fess up — “if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.” [1 John 1:9]
We don’t need to punish ourselves. “How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.” [2 Corinthians 5:21] Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins. Jesus’ blood for us. We have no need to harm ourselves. Jesus took the pain and punishment for us.
Will you accept God’s gift? Or, if you want it explained another way read Pushups & Donuts.