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Feb 2

Pro Bowl Friendships Need Fresh Gameplans

Posted on Thursday, February 2, 2012 in Uncategorized

The Pro Bowl is the NFL’s version of an all-star game. Pro Bowl players are selected by votes from the coaches, players and fans, each of which count for a third of the votes. 

Choosing the best possible players doesn’t guarantee success.  Each player still has the responsibility to perform at his highest level in concert with his fellow teammates.

Game Planning

If you could choose a roster of friends would you have chosen someone like yourself? If you could game plan how you relate to your friends would you make the same choices that you have? If you could game plan how your friends related to you would you make the same choices that they do?

Regardless what they choose, or you have chosen in the past, you can game plan now to be a winning role model of what a Pro Bowl quality friend should be.

Alan Loy McGinnis’ book “The Friendship Factor” suggests:

Locate The Trouble Spot – Try to assess what has gone wrong. Ask yourself, “How did we get into this mess?”
Apologize When You’re Wrong – All of us mess up. It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from repairing and restoring.
Check To See If Your Fears Are Spoiling Your Friendships – Were, and where were, you at fault?

Check To See If You Employ Old Methods Of Relating That No Longer Work

Each of us has emotional needs, and along the way each of us has acquired a bagful of tricks for getting those needs met. Unfortunately, we can learn some very dysfunctional ways of meeting those needs, and those patterns can get us into trouble again and again.

Conflicts can occur between friends or between nations. Sometimes selfish desires, misguided values, and/or bad motives can cause conflicts or they might simply occur because of personality clashes or conflicting interests.

What can help minimize and prevent some conflicts?

A recent survey suggested that most people believe that good friends “should make me happy.”  As well intentioned as most people are, their fickle emotions, mixed motives and uncertain expectations produce an unreliable result; a game plan doomed to failure.

In my opinion, expecting God to meet our emotional and spiritual needs stands a much greater chance of success than expecting people to do so. 

God, through the Bible, makes several clear statements of what good characterizes loving relationships.  In a previous post entitled, “Love Changes Lives” I explained that loving relationships need devotion, acceptance, clear expectations, encouragement, forgiveness, peace, patience, kindness and compassion to foster a healthy frame of mind.

The more we are in a right frame of mind and have a right heart before God,

and the more we feel at peace within ourselves because of the love of God,

the more likely we will be to let go of those evil desires and selfish actions that cause hurtful conflict with others.

Want Pro Bowl quality friendships?  Stop expecting people to meet your needs.


Note – If you’re interested in reading more from Alan Loy McGinnis’ book “The Friendship Factor” you can find it here.

Bring on the comments

  1. Overall I would have to agree with you overwhelmingly. However, I would like to dissent that friends, can make a major difference in surprising ways. The saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” cannot be underestimated. As an adult, it has been shown, that your income level has a direct effect on the measurable level of happiness, but only until you exceed the poverty line. After that, a substantial increase in income dose not translate into a substantial increase in happiness. But for those who are truly impoverished, having friends who can give them favor in getting a job are critically important.

  2. “Each of us has emotional needs, and along the way each of us has acquired a bagful of tricks for getting those needs met.”

    I require attention…please pay attention to me.

  3. Angi, you’re funny!
    Thank for reading & making it real!

  4. Thank for reading Doug.
    Your perspective is insightful, thanks for sharing it!
    I imagine living as an American within the Japanese culture adds some additional insight to your perspective.

    Another person, Marie, added the prayer in Proverbs 30:8-9
    “First, help me never to tell a lie.
    Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
    Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
    For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?”
    And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.”

  5. […] is the fifth of a series on Pro Bowl — all-star quality — friendships.  The fifth, and most relevant to me […]

  6. I see the vidilaty in some of your arguement, but I have to agree with Mark, interest in football completely dies after the Super Bowl. I think it was a smart move by Goodell to make it the week before the super. You really think having a few of the roster spots lost to superbowl contestants is the biggest issue??? What I can believe is that you failed to mention the blatant shortfall of the Pro Bowl; that these guys aren’t even playing at the level they played in high school! That’s what’s wrong with the Pro Bowl, and I don’t blame them. Why risk your career on a meaningless game, and why play football half-assed? I like the idea of having the pro bowlers play basketball. One last thing, as a sports writer aren’t you ashamed that you rated a football players’ talent based on his fantasy worth?

  7. You asked: “Why risk your career on a meaningless game, and why play football half-assed?”

    Thanks for reading and commenting!
    Why indeed?!? Unless you still love the game, care to do your best and want to honor the loyalty of your fans.
    That’s why.

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