Posted on Thursday, February 2, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Sports, TreeHouse, Values
The Pro Bowl is the NFL’s version of an all-star game. Pro Bowl players are selected by votes from the coaches, players and fans, each of which count for a third of the votes.
Choosing the best possible players doesn’t guarantee success. Each player still has the responsibility to perform at his highest level in concert with his fellow teammates.
If you could choose a roster of friends would you have chosen someone like yourself? If you could game plan how you relate to your friends would you make the same choices that you have? If you could game plan how your friends related to you would you make the same choices that they do?
Regardless what they choose, or you have chosen in the past, you can game plan now to be a winning role model of what a Pro Bowl quality friend should be.
Alan Loy McGinnis’ book “The Friendship Factor” suggests:
Locate The Trouble Spot – Try to assess what has gone wrong. Ask yourself, “How did we get into this mess?”
Apologize When You’re Wrong – All of us mess up. It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from repairing and restoring.
Check To See If Your Fears Are Spoiling Your Friendships – Were, and where were, you at fault?
Check To See If You Employ Old Methods Of Relating That No Longer Work
Each of us has emotional needs, and along the way each of us has acquired a bagful of tricks for getting those needs met. Unfortunately, we can learn some very dysfunctional ways of meeting those needs, and those patterns can get us into trouble again and again.
Conflicts can occur between friends or between nations. Sometimes selfish desires, misguided values, and/or bad motives can cause conflicts or they might simply occur because of personality clashes or conflicting interests.
What can help minimize and prevent some conflicts?
A recent survey suggested that most people believe that good friends “should make me happy.” As well intentioned as most people are, their fickle emotions, mixed motives and uncertain expectations produce an unreliable result; a game plan doomed to failure.
In my opinion, expecting God to meet our emotional and spiritual needs stands a much greater chance of success than expecting people to do so.
God, through the Bible, makes several clear statements of what good characterizes loving relationships. In a previous post entitled, “Love Changes Lives” I explained that loving relationships need devotion, acceptance, clear expectations, encouragement, forgiveness, peace, patience, kindness and compassion to foster a healthy frame of mind.
The more we are in a right frame of mind and have a right heart before God,
and the more we feel at peace within ourselves because of the love of God,
the more likely we will be to let go of those evil desires and selfish actions that cause hurtful conflict with others.
Want Pro Bowl quality friendships? Stop expecting people to meet your needs.
Note – If you’re interested in reading more from Alan Loy McGinnis’ book “The Friendship Factor” you can find it here.