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Jan 31

Pro Bowl Friendships Need Apologies

Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

Pro Bowl, all-star quality, friendships are hard work.  This week I’m sharing five strategies that will improve your relationships and deepen their commitment.

Yesterday we addressed how important it is to:

Locate The Trouble Spot

Look back. Try to assess what has gone wrong.
Where did the misunderstanding or conflict begin?

Then, as often as needed, apologize.

Apologize When You’re Wrong

All of us mess up. It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from admitting it and trying to patch up the relationship. You might have One Republic’s song “Apologize” running through your head:

That it’s too late to apologize.
It’s too late…
I said it’s too late to apologize.
It’s too late.

BUT, it’s not.

Most apologies are best in person, but others are not.

Some apologies are well-received, both others are not.

Here’s a guideline that might help us both.  Norman Vincent Peale wrote, “A true apology is more than just acknowledgment of a mistake. It is recognition that something you have said or done has damaged a relationship, and that you care enough about the relationship to want it repaired and restored.”

Don’t beat up yourself.
Don’t bail when it get tough.
Don’t lose a friendship worth saving.

My Apology, His Graciousness

This week I was hoping, and planning, to travel with one of my very best friends to Chicago.  In what was almost the last minute I had to call and cancel.  I hated it.  I was looking forward to traveling, talking, laughing and processing life together.  He was too.

Life got in the way.  I had to disappoint one person in order to please another.  I hate choosing like that, but it had to be done.

I called.  I left a voicemail.  I left him a message on Facebook.  I apologized not once, but twice.  As gracious as can be, he both let me off the hook and didn’t ask details.

If you screwed up, fess up.

 

Note – These two practices are from Alan Loy McGinnis’ book “The Friendship Factor” youcanfindithere.

Bring on the comments

  1. I love having friends that are willing to accept me evne when I disappoint them. Kudos for finding excellent friends. :)

  2. You are preaching good Brother! Thank you!

  3. Ditto Angi!
    Thanks for being a good friend to many!

  4. Thank you Jimmy.
    You’re a good role model!

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