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Oct 20

No More Fatalities

Posted on Thursday, October 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

Mortal Kombat, the classic video game introduced ‘Fatalities’.1  A fatality is usually a lethal final move that defeats a foe. Fatalities were often cruel and unusual means of exterminating an opponent.

Sound familiar?

Ever felt like a former best friend finished you off with a fatality? Ever sat in a lunchroom watching with morbid curiosity as people who used to be lovers are now involved in a death match? Ever squared off with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse wondering if this was the end?

My hope is that after reading this you will no longer choose to use your fatality moves.

I was with two “best friends” yesterday. The depth of their love and the intimacy of their friendship had been really special. More than once with passion and clarity they expressed how they thought that they would always be best friends — “BFFs!”.

As it is with many relationships life can get in the way. BFF status was challenged by travel schedules, family commitments and personal drama. New friends filled old spaces and love hid for a time while covered in fear.

It’s so easy during those times of stress and uncertainty to let fears frustrate, doubts duplicate, and let minor-tensions seem like major-problems.

It’s that way with BBFs, lovers and with marriages.

What can we do when all the good seems so bad?

Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them.” From personal experience I have found that praying for people I don’t get along with helps to take away the power of my resentment.  I have learned to love more generously as I prayed for other people.

When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad.” Guard yourself against petty jealousies. When you hold a grudge, you lose. Grudges and petty jealousies always hurt the one who holds onto them.  You might hurt the other, you will definitely hurt yourself.

Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. Make friends with ordinary people.” Compassionate and generous people often make the best friends.  Become one.  Pursue others.  You don’t always have to be right.  As many have asked, “Would you rather be right or happy?”  Choose wisely!

Don’t mistreat someone who has mistreated you. But try to earn the respect of others, and do your best to live at peace with everyone.”  Guard your heart. Don’t let your anger or hurts overtake you. Guard one another from being surrounded by resentment, sunk by anger, or swallowed by bitterness. As I wrote about yesterday, “healthy relationships are ones in which we protect one another, even from themselves.”

Preview – More about having hard conversations next week.

Want to have a great friendship, romance, or marriage? Great relationships are great treasures that take a great deal of work.

1 – Mortal Kombat [it’s bloody beware!]

2 – Romans 12:14-18

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  1. […] I wrote, “Guard your heart. Don’t let your anger or hurts overtake you. Guard one another from being surrounded by […]

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