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Jan 10

Living in Tension, Pt. 1

Posted on Monday, January 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

In the movie Batman Begins, Henri Ducard tells Bruce Wayne: “You traveled the world… Now you must journey inwards… to what you really fear… it’s inside you… there is no turning back. Your parents’ death was not your fault. Your training is nothing. The will is everything. If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, you become something else entirely. Are you ready to begin?”

Are you satisfied?

Have you settled for this life you have?

Is what you have all you expect you’re gonna have?

During 1990 in my first month at TreeHouse I made $30; beyond that, as the months went by I had several paychecks of less than $200.  I was completing my Master’s degree, my daughter Shannon was born and my wife Amy stayed home to raise her.

We lived entirely off the money I made at TreeHouse, WIC [for Shannon], and gifts from people, food shelves, and handouts.  There were times when we had an empty refrigerator and couldn’t afford milk.

We were poor and scared.  I was confused.

During that first year at TreeHouse I read in my Bible about a man I decided I wanted to be like.  His name was Levi.

“My covenant was with [Levi], a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him; this called for reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name. True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin.” [Malachi 2:5-6, NIV]

True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin.

I wanted to be Levi!

The trouble was I had a hard time seeing myself like that.

I knew who I was.

I knew who I’d been.

I wanted to be special, but sadly I felt afraid that I “knew better.”

Fortunately, the story didn’t end there.

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