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Feb 1

Lessons from Lachers – Love

Posted on Friday, February 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

During our visit with Eric and Jill Lacher we marveled at their love.

Though they have similar hearts and values, they began their relationships with very different strategies for living out those values.

During our visit they shared with us that the wisdom of Emerson Eggerichs has helped them to grow deeper in love and express it more effectively to one another. On their behalf and to our benefit here’s some of what they learned.

How Does a Husband Spell Love to His Wife?

As we have seen, love to wives is spelled C-O-U-P-L-E. Following is a brief review of these six concepts. If a husband memorizes and uses even one or two of them each day, he will do his part in keeping the Energizing Cycle going. Husbands should ask themselves these questions:

1. Closeness – Am I always remembering to move toward her and accept her need to talk and connect with me to be reassured of my love?

2. Openness – Do I share my thoughts with her, and am I sure I’m not resisting her efforts to draw me out?

3. Understanding – Am I careful not to try to “fix” her every time she talks about one of her concerns or problems? Am I remembering that she is an integrated personality and whatever happens affects all of her, especially her emotions?

4. Peacemaking – Am I always willing to resolve issues, and am I careful to never say, “Let’s just drop it and move on”?

5. Loyalty – Do I constantly look for ways to tell her that I will be loyal to her forever – that she?s the one love of my life, the only woman for me?

6. Esteem – Do I always let her know that I treasure her and put highest value on her as a person? Do I let her know that what she does and thinks are important to me? Does she know I couldn’t possibly do without her?

How Does a Wife Spell Respect for Her Husband?

A wife spells respect for her husband C-H-A-I-R-S and uses these six concepts to let him know how important and vital he is to her. Wives should ask themselves these questions:

1. Conquest – Am I always standing behind him and letting him know I support him in his work and endeavors in his field?

2. Hierarchy – Do I let him know I respect and appreciate his desire to protect and provide for me and the family? What have I said recently to communicate this?

3. Authority – Have I gone on record that, because he has the primary responsibility for me (even to die for me), I recognize him as having the primary authority? Do I let him be the leader? How have I helped in that regard recently?

4. Insight – Do I trust his ability to analyze things and offer solutions and not just depend on my “intuition”?

5. Relationship – Do I spend shoulder-to-shoulder time with him whenever I can? Do I let him know that I am his friend as well as his lover?

6. Sexuality – Do I honor his need for sexual release even when I don’t feel like it?

As a husband spells out love to his wife through C-O-U-P-L-E and a wife spells out respect to her husband through C-H-A-I-R-S, they can’t help but meet each other’s needs. The beauty of it is, if you meet a need in your spouse, it will come back to you as your spouse meets one of your needs.


Excerpt from “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, pgs. 260-261

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