As we have seen, love to wives is spelled C-O-U-P-L-E. Following is a brief review of these six concepts. If a husband memorizes and uses even one or two of them each day, he will do his part in keeping the Energizing Cycle going. Husbands should ask themselves these questions:
1. Closeness – Am I always remembering to move toward her and accept her need to talk and connect with me to be reassured of my love?
2. Openness – Do I share my thoughts with her, and am I sure I’m not resisting her efforts to draw me out?
3. Understanding – Am I careful not to try to “fix” her every time she talks about one of her concerns or problems? Am I remembering that she is an integrated personality and whatever happens affects all of her, especially her emotions?
4. Peacemaking – Am I always willing to resolve issues, and am I careful to never say, “Let’s just drop it and move on”?
5. Loyalty – Do I constantly look for ways to tell her that I will be loyal to her forever – that she?s the one love of my life, the only woman for me?
6. Esteem – Do I always let her know that I treasure her and put highest value on her as a person? Do I let her know that what she does and thinks are important to me? Does she know I couldn’t possibly do without her?
How Does a Wife Spell Respect for Her Husband?
A wife spells respect for her husband C-H-A-I-R-S and uses these six concepts to let him know how important and vital he is to her. Wives should ask themselves these questions:
1. Conquest – Am I always standing behind him and letting him know I support him in his work and endeavors in his field?
2. Hierarchy – Do I let him know I respect and appreciate his desire to protect and provide for me and the family? What have I said recently to communicate this?
3. Authority – Have I gone on record that, because he has the primary responsibility for me (even to die for me), I recognize him as having the primary authority? Do I let him be the leader? How have I helped in that regard recently?
4. Insight – Do I trust his ability to analyze things and offer solutions and not just depend on my “intuition”?
5. Relationship – Do I spend shoulder-to-shoulder time with him whenever I can? Do I let him know that I am his friend as well as his lover?
6. Sexuality – Do I honor his need for sexual release even when I don’t feel like it?
As a husband spells out love to his wife through C-O-U-P-L-E and a wife spells out respect to her husband through C-H-A-I-R-S, they can’t help but meet each other’s needs. The beauty of it is, if you meet a need in your spouse, it will come back to you as your spouse meets one of your needs.
Excerpt from “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, pgs. 260-261