True intimacy is far more than physical interaction. Sexuality is not limited to the genitals: it covers a much broader spectrum of caresses, kisses, friendly company and words of affection. It includes a unity of personality, emotions, and our spiritual nature.
Charles Sell suggests that in order for there to be sweet music in our relationship we must keep in mind “if you’re married to a violin, be a bow.” 1
Get to know one another more intimately.
True Intimacy Takes Time
Maintaining an intimate relationship involves renovating and maintaining the romance.
The intimacy between partners is a complete expression of love. Sex is a wonderful opportunity to develop intimacy.
Sadly many couples lose sight that sexual pleasure is an important dimension of marriage that can last many years, provided it’s built on the foundations of commitment, love, companionship and laughter.
It is essential to establish appropriate communication channels to enable them to express what they want, what excites them, or, what is bothering them.
True Intimacy Reflects The Nature Of God
Marriage is intended to be inseparable just as our relationship with God is meant to be inseparable.
Marriage is meant to teach us how to have a successful, life-long relationship with God. God meets are deepest needs of significance and security. God offers significance. God offers security.
God offers significance. Significance is “a purpose for living which will give me a real and lasting impact on my world and a purpose which I am completely adequate to accomplish.” 2
God offers security. Security comes from unconditional love. “People need that kind of love. We need, really need, to be loved as we are, loved at our worst. We need to regard ourselves as worthwhile. In order to do so, we must not only be significant but also be secure in the unconditional love of another person.” 3
“Wives, [help your husband feel significant] understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband [help your wife feel secure] provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.”[Ephesians 5:22 – 24]
The beauty of sexuality in marriage is that it is not just the meeting of two bodies, but the entire encounter between two people who know, love and have made a promise to be together “’til death do us part.”
1 From Charles M. Sell’s Achieving The Impossible
2 & 3 From Larry Crabb’s Basic Biblical Counseling