Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2011 in Uncategorized
When Amy I dated I wanted to love Amy, really love Amy, but I didn’t know how. So I read books about building loving relationships. Gary Smalley was one of the more practical and insightful authors. He continues to impact my life.
Smalley’s 12 ways to keep your love alive is a list. I’d like to share how I’m putting it into action.
“1. Praise is such a great gift, and it’s so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.”
In order to help myself and others to express appreciation for their loved one Amy and I developed the following form.
WHAT – List three positive characteristics of your family that your spouse contributes to:
1. Amy models generosity and thoughtful consideration of the needs of others.
2. Amy is a law-abiding citizen.
3. Amy intentionally chooses to pursue relationships with us.
HOW – List three specific examples that help make those three work in your family.
1. Amy notices ways to be kind like buying coffee for the hard-working mechanics repairing our car.
2. Amy confronts me when I break rules like respecting the lines in parking lots.
3. Amy plans and prepares meals that we all can enjoy together.
WHY – What are three benefits that you have found when she/he does this?
1. We’re learning to be considerate of the needs of others.
2. We’re learning to respect others.
3. We’re learning to be less self-centered.
NOW WHAT: How can or do you express your appreciation for your loved ones?
QUOTE: “You can build a stable relationship that withstands the storms of life.”
– James Dobson