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Aug 21

Identifying your Anger

Posted on Tuesday, August 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

When most people think of anger, they picture a person in a rage.

They have images of slamming doors, shouting, and intimidating communications.

Certainly this is part of the angry response. But anger is not that one-dimensional. It is multifaceted; therefore it should not be stereotyped. It can be found in any temperament. Whether a person is shy or extroverted, perfectionistic or laid-back, he or she can show anger in many ways.

We use the term anger to describe a number of expressions: frustration, irritability, annoyance, blowing off steam, fretting. It is important to realize how each of these reactions is tied to anger.

The following inventory can help you in this process too. Check the statements that apply to you. 1

1. _____ Impatience comes over me more frequently than I would like.

2. _____ I nurture critical thoughts quite easily.

3. _____ When I am displeased with someone I may shut down any communication or withdraw

4. _____ I feel inwardly annoyed when family and friends do not comprehend my needs.

5. _____ Tension mounts within me as I tackle a demanding task.

6. _____ I feel frustrated when I see someone else having fewer struggles than I do.

7. _____ When facing an important event, I may obsessively ponder how I must manage it.

8. _____ Sometimes I walk in another direction to avoid seeing someone I do not like.

9. _____ When discussing a controversial topic, my tone of voice is likely to become persuasive.

10. _____ I can accept a person who admits his or her mistakes, but I have a hard time accepting someone who refuses to admit his or her own weaknesses.

11. _____ When I talk about my irritations I don’t really want to hear and opposite point of view.

12. _____ I do not easily forget when someone does me wrong.

13. _____ When someone confronts me from a misinformed position, I am thinking of
my rebuttal as he or she speaks.

14. _____ Sometimes my discouragement makes me want to quit.

15. _____ I can be quite aggressive in my business pursuits or even when playing a game just for fun.

16. _____ I struggle emotionally with the things in life that are not fair.

17. _____ Although I know it may not be right; I sometimes blame others for my problems.

18. _____ When someone openly speaks ill of me, my natural response is to think of how I can defend myself.

19. _____ Sometimes I speak slanderously about a person, not really caring how it may harm his or her reputation.

20. _____ I may act kindly on the outside while feeling frustrated on the inside.

21. _____ Sarcasm is a trait I use in expressing humor.

22. _____ When someone is clearly annoyed with me I too easily jump into the conflict.

23. _____ At times I struggle with moods of depression or discouragement.

24. _____ I have been known to take an “I-don’t-care” attitude toward the needs of others.

25. _____ When I am in an authority role, I may speak too sternly or insensitively.

Now go back through the inventory and count the number of statements you checked. Everyone will recognize some of these characteristics, so don’t worry about marking them.
– If you checked 10 items, your anger is probably more constant than you might like.
– If you checked 15 or more, you can probably recount many disappointments and irritations.

This indicates you are vulnerable to the extreme ill effects of anger, rage, and explosions or to guilt, bitterness, and resentment. But don’t give up! Anger can be managed if you apply an awakened mind to it.

If you are interested in gaining a broader perspective of yourself, ask a close friend or family member to complete the inventory, answering the questions as he or she thinks you would respond.

 

1 – This chart, and the entire post is a direct (abbreviated) quote from The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers.

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