I Hate When…
I’m wrestling with myself, because…
I hate when I mess up.
I hate when I let down my guard.
I hate when I lower my standards.
I hate when I try to wiggle out.
I hate when I rationalize my choices.
I hate when I justify my behavior.
I hate when I make excuses.
I hate when I settle.
I hate when I plot stupid stuff.
I hate when I hide my failures.
I hate when I’m afraid to talk to God about what God already knows.
I hate when God reminds me there’s more to repent of.
I hate when I fear exposure.
I hate when I fear a loss of reputation.
I hate when I fear rejection.
I hate when I struggle with admitting my sins.
I hate when I try to image control.
I hate when I doubt your compassion.
I hate when I fear your wrath.
I hate when I loathe your righteousness.
I hate when I envy your perfection.
I hate when I feel your eyes on me.
I hate when I wonder if you’ll talk about me.
I hate when I choose to give in.
I hate when I choose to ignore Scripture.
I hate when I choose to ignore God’s presence.
I hate when I ignore my conscience.
I hate when I mute God’s warnings.
I hate when I ignore the “beware” signs.
I hate when shut off my self-control.
I hate when I hate myself enough to choose poorly.
Perhaps most of all, I hate when I let those hatreds keep me trapped in my guilt — which is good because I’ve sinned — and shame — which is a sin that tries to convince me that because I’ve sinned I’m a hopelessly defective failure.
Guilt = a healthy part of our conscience.
False Guilt = an unhealthy sense of guilt based on lies about our choices.
Shame = an unhealthy destructive set of lies about our nature.
Maybe this doesn’t make any sense to you, and I just sound like a rambling fool.
On the other hand, maybe you’ve felt the same feelings, and thought the same thoughts I do; if so, neither of us need to feel alone.
Fortunately, as my daughter Shannon pointed out, God doesn’t want us to stay stuck:
“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.”
I hate when I’m afraid God will make my life worse when I admit to others my shortcomings. God continues:
“I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!” 1
I want that. I don’t want to settle. This is mysilentscream!
Bring on the comments
Tuesday, July 31 12:21 pm
I have felt all of those things, thanks for letting me know that I am not alone.
Tuesday, July 31 12:23 pm
I hate it when I refuse to listen to wise counsel because of my stubborness….
Tuesday, July 31 5:45 pm
And, thank you for your affirmation that I’m not alone.
Tuesday, July 31 5:46 pm
That makes two of us!
Wednesday, August 1 4:07 am
Good article and right to the point. Thanks 🙂
Friday, June 28 11:51 pm
[…] 2. Don’t make things worse by supporting their error or giving them excuses. […]
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