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May 17

Hope For Lonely Lovers

Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

When we feel alone we look for relationships.
When we build relationships we look for connection.
When we recognize connection we hope for intimacy.
When we embrace intimacy…

… sometimes our hopes are dashed.

Our girlfriend is too manic.
Our boyfriend is too needy.
Our wife is too wounded.
Our husband is too self-centered.

And, it all comes crumbling down.

You can’t make her happy!
You can’t make him happy!
You feel so alone.

Left unchecked angry and loneliness are the ingredients for rage.

I hate this! Nothing makes sense.
I know I’m not good enough! And…
I know I will never be!

You, I assume are like me, and you “hear the roar of condemnation for past sins, feel gored by remorse, and sense hope itself slip away because of the terrible fierce ragings within?” 1

When that happens, shame builds and distorts.

I hate myself.
I hate everything that was me and still is.
I hate everything around me!
I hate me, you, and everything else.

Lies twist and contort, and drag us down, “I wish I WAS #^(<|~* DEAD!!!

What can I do? Or, maybe, “That sounds like my friend, co-worker, brother, sister, etc. What can I do?”

“What can I recommend to someone who’s a lonely lover?”

Pray.  It might sound like an empty religious answer, but it’s not. “Jesus has suffered and was tempted, he can help anyone else who is tempted.” 2

That help is life transforming for me.

Now that we know what we have…Jesus…let’s not let it slip through our fingers. (He not) out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.” 3

I Don’t Know How To Pray

We don’t always know why we should pray, how we should pray, what we should pray or whether it will “work.”

John Calvin, a man of great faith and faithfulness, struggled with that too. He wrote, that when we’re struggling, and we know we should have our eyes on God, and we should have our heart on good things, but “they faint and fail, and are carried in a contrary direction.” 4

When we’re screaming nonsense, pounding on walls, swearing about our circumstances, and mumbling under our breath, God understands us.

It’s then that God “does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves…That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” 5

My favorite prayer are:
I’m sorry…
Thank you…

If I Pray, What Happens When I Pray?

Sometimes nothing obvious
BUT if you’re like me, this is what you might get:

Sometimes he hugs us because of our sadness.
Sometimes he cries with us because of our hurts.
Sometimes he warns us because of our ignorance.
Sometimes he laughs at our silliness.
Sometimes he scolds our foolishness.
Sometimes he smacks us for our stupidity.

That’s why I fell in love with God.


1 – Mark Galli’s book Jesus Mean and Wild, pp. 25
2 – Hebrews 2:18, CEV
3 – Hebrews 4:14-16, MSG
4 – John Calvin’s Of Prayer — A Perpetual Exercise of Faith
5 – Romans 8:22-28, MSG

Bring on the comments

  1. […] “If you are cheerful, you feel good; if you are sad, you hurt all over.” 2 Fortunately, there’s hope.  […]

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