Posted on Tuesday, November 3, 2009 in Uncategorized
TreeHouse alumni often tell me that they wish that they had relationships as adults like the ones that they had at TreeHouse.
Healthy relationships are hard work and many adults either don’t know how or don’t take the time to build truly lasting and meaningful friendships.
What’s it take to be a good friend?
Honesty, trust, respect, fun, unselfishness, humor, patience, commitment, integrity, and kindness form the foundation upon which healthy friendships stands strong.
Yes, friendships are hard work, but friendships are one of the few things in life that may last a lifetime.
At TreeHouse teens are acculturated to believe that relationships are meaningful and that each teen is “lovable, capable and worthwhile.”
In the support groups the groundwork is laid to build interdependent friendships.
Every week in support groups the rules are repeated. There are only four but they are important to establish a culture that has facilitated life transformation for a generation. “Be honest” might seem obvious, and common sense, but it’s not a value consistently shared by most people.
“Honesty builds trust among group members and facilitates spending time on what actually happened rather than spending time on an exaggerated story.”
Genuine heartfelt support comes through honest communication.
What’s it take to be a good friend? Good friends share honesty. They communicate honestly.
Do you relate like you value honesty? Think about those times when you chose to be dishonest. Why? How did it play out?
And then think about times in which you chose to respond honestly. How did that work out?
There is great freedom in being honest. One of the anthems of my adult life has been “if you screw up, fess up.”
There is great freedom in honesty. Honesty is hard work. You have to fight against your fears of rejection. You have to battle the temptation to disguise yourself and your choices because of your fear of failure.
Honesty helps set us free from fear-filled relationships.
I’ve tried to live like I believe Jesus Christ when he told the people who had faith in him, “If you keep on obeying what I have said, you truly are my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” [John 8:31-32, CEV]
I may not have liked some of the consequences, but I have not regretted honest communication since I began to live as an honest person.
What’s it take to be a good friend? Honesty.