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Oct 19

No More Heartache

Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

Yesterday I asked you to think back to your childhood views of marriage.

Do you have the same view of marriage when you were a kid, or has it changed?
Happily ever after is what I hoped for.  Maybe you did too.
Has your view changed?  Mine has.

I watched and learned from my parents. They shared hopes, dreams, hobbies and dramas. When my best friends’ parents divorced, I was so confused.  They seemed to love one another. It’s easy to feel disillusioned when all around you is heartache and heart-break.

Everyone I know has been affected by someone’s divorce, but I hope to inspire you to envision having a great marriage.

On mysilentscream I’ve written a great deal about Amy and our dating life, wedding and marriage.  A quick search shows I’ve written about Amy more than two hundred times. I certainly don’t mean to brag, I just found some things that work and I want to pass them on!

Suffice to say, Amy and I are happily married and we wish that if you want to be married that you’ll be, at least, as happily married as we are.

A great marriage is a great treasure that takes a great deal of work. 

All relationships take work, marriage especially.  Here are some wise general principles to guide your relationships.

Be sincere in your love for others.

As you know, many people misuse the word love for selfish purposes. “Love” can be faked.  Check any singles bar on any weekend and you’ll meet people who lure others in with insincere “love”.  Don’t just pretend to love one another, really love. 

Real love pursues the very best for the other person.

Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

With Netflix readily available I might be tempted to watch movies or TV shows I shouldn’t, but we protect one another from them.  I might be tempted to “cut corners” on our taxes, but we don’t because Amy maintains honest detailed records.  She protects us.

Someone will say, “whatever you choose is okay”, but lowering ones standards only adds to the problem.  Denial diminishes a person’s values and destroys marriages.  When we’ve done something that we know is wrong and we shouldn’t do we are filled with pain and guilt.

Even people who care nothing for religion or biblical principles can wilt under the power of guilt when they have violated their own moral standards.  Guilty people fill with tension.  We wonder, “If I’m capable of doing this, what will I do next? Will I do this again, or will I do something even worse?”

Healthy relationships are ones in which we protect one another, even from themselves.

More tomorrow.

1 – Romans 12:9-13

 

Bring on the comments

  1. Thanks for sharing, Scott! In 23 days I’ll be committing to a marriage of my own. Having experienced a divorce myself, I know marriage isn’t the easy fairy tale the movies paint it to be. I appreciate the words of wisdom!

  2. Thank you Lindsey for sharing your experiences.
    I am so excited for this next stage of your life.
    May every day look and feel as happy as your profile picture on Facebook!

  3. YEAHHHH
    Agree agree agreee!!!!!
    Someone will say, “whatever you choose is okay”, but lowering ones standards only adds to the problem. Denial diminishes a person’s values and destroys marriages. When we’ve done something that we know is wrong and we shouldn’t do we are filled with pain and guilt.
    Aaron and I have a great marraige! Thank you to you and Amy for being role models.

  4. Sooooooooooo true!

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