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Aug 20

Good, Fine and Flies

Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

2fliesWe have a small bucket outside our garage door. When we don’t want to walk to the back corner of our backyard to the compost pile we toss compostable kitchen scraps into the bucket.

Yesterday as I threw some scraps into the bucket dozens of flies instantly and unexpectedly flew out of the bucket.


Al Andrews wrote a humble and insightful post entitled, What To Say When Everything Is Not “Fine”.

It made me think of our bucket of flies.

How often does the word “fine” or “good” fly – pun intended – out of my mouth? I’m smiling just think about how much I hate when the word “fine” or “good” flies out of my mouth.

Q: How’s life?
A: Fine.

Q: How’s your wrist healing?
A: Good.

Or, guys don’t make this mistake (again):

Q: (Girlfriend or wife speaking) How do I look?
A: Fine.

Too often I reply with instant words that – while they might be true – they don’t reveal anything.

“Good” and “fine” are also conversation killers.

3 Self-Discipline Communication Skills

1. Stop! No more auto-replies.
2. Believe that the other person deserves an honest answer.
3. Answer the question honestly, briefly and gratefully.

If you need to move on, you can with a real answer. And, if you have time, moving beyond “good” and “fine” provides space for the conversation to continue.

For example:

Q: How’s life?
A: Summer seems to have flown by, but we added some special memories. Thanks for asking.

Q: How’s your wrist healing?
A: Slower than I hoped, but when I remember to lift with my left hand it helps. Thanks for asking.

Or, guys don’t make this mistake (again):

Q: (Girlfriend or wife speaking) How do I look?
A: More importantly, how do you think you look?

Okay, I’m still working on that one, but I have moved beyond “fine.”

Join me and together let’s discipline ourselves to move beyond the shallow to the deep end of communication skills and social intimacy.

#mysilentscream: Together we can leave a transforming legacy!

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