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Jun 17

Fathers! Don’t Settle!

Posted on Sunday, June 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

Far too many people settle for what is, rather than what could be, because it seems like so much work. 

Fatherhood is an area of life that far too many men settle for what for what is, for what they can think of, or see, or had modeled, rather than seek for wisdom.

While I was in Steamboat Springs, Colorado training the staff at SK8Church, Buck Chavarria introduced me to Chris Spradlin the author of EpicParent.TV.

Today Chris’s insights will take center stage here on mysilentscream.

Here’s Chris:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”  Ephesians 6:4

To “provoke . . . to anger” suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.

It doesn’t specifically use the word honor, but I believe these verses, as well as others point the finger at parents and say…you better honor your kiddos.

Instead…so many parents  unknowingly (and sometimes) intentionally “dis-honor” their kids.  Is that you?

Here are 7 signs you dis-honor your kids…

YOU’RE A WELL MEANING OVER-PROTECTOR: Are you one of those smotherer parents?  Do you overly restrict where they can go and what they can do?  Do you rarely trust them to do things on their own?  Do you continually question their judgment?

YOU SHOW FAVORITISM:  For parents to compare their children with each other, this can be devastating to the child who is less talented or favored. He will tend to become discouraged, resentful, withdrawn, and bitter.  Favoritism by parents generally leads to favoritism among the children themselves, who pick up the practice from their parents. They will favor one brother or sister over the others and will often favor one parent over the other.

YOU PUSH ACHIEVEMENT BEYOND REASONABLE BOUNDS:  A child can be so pressured to achieve that he is virtually destroyed. He quickly learns that nothing he does is sufficient to please his parents. No sooner does he accomplish one goal than he is challenged to accomplish something better.

YOU ARE A DISCOURAGER:  A child who is never complimented or encouraged by his parents is destined for trouble.

YOU MAKE YOUR KIDS FEEL UNWANTED:  Children who are made to feel that they are an intrusion, that they are always in the way and interfere with the plans and happiness of the parents, cannot help becoming resentful.

YOU FORCE YOUR KIDS TO GROW UP FAST:  Chiding your kiddos for always acting childish, does not contribute to their maturity but rather helps confirm them in their childishness.

YOU USE LOVE AS A TOOL:  Do you grant love when your child is good and do you withdraw it when he is bad?  Often the practice is unconscious, but a child can sense if a parent cares for him less when is he disobedient than when he behaves.

If this is you…you should probably read THIS post next!

Bring on the comments

  1. It’s difficult to find well-informed people about this topic, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about!

  2. Nathan, I’m humbled by your gracious comments.
    Keep reading and commenting!

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