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May 24

Embrace Your Frustration

Posted on Tuesday, May 24, 2011 in Uncategorized


Dan Heisman one of my favorite authors wrote, “The #1 chess guideline [is] keep all your pieces safe! (And consider taking opponent’s pieces that are not safe). You must make all your decisions before you touch a piece…”

Choose wisely.

BUT What If You Feel Like A Pawn Someone Else Controls?

You were hoping for happiness, but you’re feeling like you don’t know what moves to make.

You were hoping to deal with change in your life, but you’ve been dealt a bad hand.


You’ve been persevering through a pain-filled relationship only to find out your partner folded.

Finally you’re finding your way through a healthy relationship and now you feel like you don’t know the rules.

What Then?

Whether you’re coping with loss, battered by out-of-control impulses, or tormented by unmanageable feelings wise decision making is crucial.  Heisman continued, “You are trying to find the BEST move, so when you see a good move, look for a better one.  If you don’t look, you can’t see!”

It’s hard to know what to do when we’re frustrated.  It’s hard to be patient through the pain.  Life has it’s ups and downs.  Trials come and go, but we don’t know when and if we’ll “make it.”

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” *

Good things are coming, but sometimes it’s hard to see when we’re stuck in the frustrations of the past.

5 Clues You Should Be Letting Go of Something

Here’s a Psych Central discussion between Therese Borchard and Eileen Flanagan, the author of ‘The Wisdom to Know the Difference.’ **

Therese: What are five clues you should be letting go of something?

1. You find yourself repeating the same complaint to different people.

2. You’re churning over in your brain what you wish you (or someone else) had done.

3. Your body is showing signs of anxiety.

4. You are scheming how to make someone else do something.

5. You can’t appreciate the life you have because you keep focusing on what could be.

What are five clues you should be making a change instead of giving up?

1. You can’t let go.

2. The problem will persist if you do nothing.

3. You feel jealous of someone else’s accomplishments.

4. People you trust believe you should make a change.

5. You angrily deny any problem.

Good things are coming, but sometimes it’s hard to see when we’re stuck in the frustrations of the past.  If that’s you, it’s time to embrace your frustration.

* Romans 8:26-28
** If you’d like to learn more about Eileen Flanagan, visit her website.

Bring on the comments

  1. Great eye-opening article. I especially like the clues. Glad people like you are writing about topics that people often deal with alone, because it helps us all realize that we are not suffering with our issues, big or small, in solitude!

  2. Thank you for your kind words Phil!

    I am truly blessed by the many people who share their frustrations with me.
    I learn from their courage when they’re weak.
    I learn from their celebrations when they’re strong.

  3. Dear Scott,

    Thanks so much for mentioning my book, The Wisdom to Know the Difference, and for linking to my website! I really appreciate meeting people who are writing about similar issues and find it amazing how much we all have in common in terms of having moments of confusion or doubt, as well as moments of feeling supported and guided.

    Best wishes,

  4. Eileen,

    I’m honored that you noticed.
    Thank you for writing and sharing your wisdom with us.


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