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Sep 26

Dumped

Posted on Wednesday, September 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

Crying, and crying out loud in our pain, makes sense when we get dumped.

Last night we watched an episode of the television show Big Bang Theory. Leonard professed his love to his girlfriend Penny. Taken off guard, the slow to trust, Penny didn’t reciprocate. One thing led to another and Leonard got dumped.

Later lonely-Leonard hung out with his friend Raj. Raj, like Leonard, was feeling lonely for love. Here was their exchange:

Leonard: Don’t worry. You’ll meet a girl someday.

Raj: No, I won’t.

Leonard: Yes, you will, and she’ll be beautiful, and kind and sexy and funny and everything you ever wanted in a woman.

Raj: You really think so?

Leonard: I do, and you’ll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart. And she’ll take it and grind it into pathetic, little pieces.

Ouch!

Here’s a real story of being dumped:

“My boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had just been diagnosed with cancer. He said that he wanted me to be happy but that he couldn’t be a good enough boyfriend while he was going through his treatments. I talked to his best friend, he said it was true. Later today I found out that he’s actually healthy, and he doesn’t have cancer; he’s just hooked back up with his ex.”

I’ve heard a couple similar stories.  One — I can’t recall enough details to repeat, but — involved a guy who faked his own death to dump a girl.  Wow, calculated and callous. 

For a couple weeks she sat tearfully in our support groups looking for comfort and hope.  It took more than a month before his plan was exposed.

Despite all that, on some level, she still wanted him back.

I read a tweet the other day: “It’s amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.” 1

Post-Dumping Dilemma

“I was so angry.  I was so hurt.  I could barely speak to him.  I was afraid, but I wanted him back.  I wanted him to convince me that it wasn’t true or at least that it wouldn’t happen again.

When he wasn’t able to, or wasn’t willing to try to convince me that he would love me the way I wanted, I tried to whine and pout and guilt him. It’s not working, for either of us.  What should I do?”

I certainly didn’t know all of the answers to “What should I do?”, but I knew she needed to maintain her integrity by choosing to be honest.

Be Honest.
– Tell the truth about who you are.
– Tell the truth about how you feel.
– Tell the truth about what you need.
– Tell the truth about what you want.

Why is that so important?

Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.” 2

1 – September 24, 2012 @iamprincekash on twitter.com
2 – Proverbs 12:19, NLT

Bring on the comments

  1. It’s amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.” I have felt the same way before.

  2. I agree, I thought it was a profound tweet

  3. […] This week we’re examining painful dating.  Tuesday’s For Crying Out Loud included  grief, loss, and the healing benefits of tears.  Wednesday included helpful hints for dealing with being dumped. […]

  4. […] drag us down.  Whether it’s crying our way through a painful breakup, dealing with being dumped, or coping with the obvious sense  that we’ve blundered, blown it and need to move on, they […]

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