Don’t Fear Love – Pt 2 of 10 – Ten Days Of *Loving* Advice
Yesterday I wrote about the importance of having clear expectations in your relationships. If you have not read it you might want to do so now. Here it is:
It’s important to talk through expectations throughout the life of your relationship or sadly it may lead to the death of that relationship.
Below is a quick but provocative quiz listing common but unspoken expectations that affect relationships.
If you’re single and you aren’t in relationship now take it anyway. Ask a friend to answer it for you and discuss his/her answers. Either way, copy and paste this quiz into a document to save it for the day you want to take your next relationship to a deeper level.
If you’re in a relationship I suggest you take the test yourself. Please be honest. Invite your guy/gal to take it too.
If you’re daring, and I hope you are, have your guy/gal take it and answer it for you.
Then talk through your answers. Hopefully you’ll feel affirmed and a bit challenged. Listen patiently. Respect her/his opinion even if you don’t agree, more on that tomorrow.
A Dozen Common Expectations
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Strongly Disagree———Disagree————-Agree———Strongly Agree
Please rate your current level of belief or agreement with the following statements, using the 7-pt. rating scale listed above.
___ I must have everyone’s love and approval.
___ It is easier to avoid problems than to face them.
___ If we don’t fight about things we don’t have problems
___ He/she should make me happy.
___ Things have to go my way for me to be happy.
___ Our families and friends don’t influence or interfere in our relationship.
___ Life should be easy.
___ Life should be fair.
___ Our relationship problems are usually her/his fault.
___ If our relationship takes hard work, we must not be right for each other.
___ She/he owes me for what I have done for him/her.
___ He/she should accept me for who I am. I shouldn’t have to change who I am in order to make my relationship better.
Adapted from Chris Thurman’s book The Lies We Believe available here:
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