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Feb 5

Don’t Fear Love – Pt 2 of 10 – Ten Days Of *Loving* Advice

Posted on Saturday, February 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of having clear expectations in your relationships.  If you have not read it you might want to do so now.  Here it is:

It’s important to talk through expectations throughout the life of your relationship or sadly it may lead to the death of that relationship.

Below is a quick but provocative quiz listing common but unspoken expectations that affect relationships.

If you’re single and you aren’t in relationship now take it anyway.  Ask a friend to answer it for you and discuss his/her answers.  Either way, copy and paste this quiz into a document to save it for the day you want to take your next relationship to a deeper level.

If you’re in a relationship I suggest you take the test yourself.  Please be honest.  Invite your guy/gal to take it too.

If you’re daring, and I hope you are, have your guy/gal take it and answer it for you.

Then talk through your answers.  Hopefully you’ll feel affirmed and a bit challenged.  Listen patiently.  Respect her/his opinion even if you don’t agree, more on that tomorrow.

A Dozen Common Expectations

1          2          3          4          5          6          7

Strongly Disagree———Disagree————-Agree———Strongly Agree

Please rate your current level of belief or agreement with the following statements, using the 7-pt. rating scale listed above.

___ I must have everyone’s love and approval.

___ It is easier to avoid problems than to face them.

___ If we don’t fight about things we don’t have problems

___ He/she should make me happy.

___ Things have to go my way for me to be happy.

___ Our families and friends don’t influence or interfere in our relationship.

___ Life should be easy.

___ Life should be fair.

___ Our relationship problems are usually her/his fault.

___ If our relationship takes hard work, we must not be right for each other.

___ She/he owes me for what I have done for him/her.

___ He/she should accept me for who I am.  I shouldn’t have to change who I am in order to make my relationship better.

Adapted from Chris Thurman’s book The Lies We Believe available here:

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