RSS Feed
Feb 22

Dating Disaster – “Date Rape” – His Story

Posted on Friday, February 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

cold_morningDate rape is real, it’s tragic, and sometimes it’s very confusing.

This is a fictional account that’s written – based on true stories – to give words to those who are scared, silent, and silenced.

Yesterday’s account was written from a female’s perspective entitled “Her Story“.
Today’s account is from the male’s perspective.

I met this girl online.

She seemed amazing.
We talked all the time.
She became my best friend.
Finally, we decided to meet at the mall.
I was so excited.
I really don’t know how it happened.
I don’t know what happened.
Her friends came along, probably to check me out.
I was a little nervous, but I guess they thought I was okay and took off.
Things were going so great after her friends left.
We walked and talked all night through the mall.
We were having such a great time I didn’t want the night to end.
Instead of taking her home, I found a place to stop so we could talk.
She was so beautiful I wanted to kiss her.
I leaned in, she leaned forward.
Kissing, led to making out, making out led to more, and more, ya know.
Everything seemed so right.
Then it went so…wrong.
I don’t know how to tell you this…
I started feeling her up.
She started feeling me down.
She was so hot, we were so horny.
I didn’t want it to stop.
One thing led to another.
I don’t know how to tell you this.
When we were done she was crying.
I was confused.
Then she said, “Why did you rape me?
I was confused, then I was angry.
I said, “I didn’t rape you!
After a few minutes of silence we drove off and I dropped her off at home.

I don’t understand why it ended that way.
I’m scared. I’m angry. I don’t know what to do.

Note – Again, the following is not meant or intended to diminish the tragic crime of rape and the victimization that women experience, this is meant to give voice and support to innocent, falsely accused males.

 This situation is a crisis.

NOVA, the National Organization for Victim Assistance explains that, “One of the defining characteristics of a crisis is resulting trauma. When something is unexpected, unique and overwhelming to our daily experience, that can result in traumatic reactions. It is important to recognize that traumatic reactions vary from person-to-person and event-to-event, based upon a number of variables.

Most likely, your reactions are common. These are described as ‘common reactions to an uncommon situation.’ You aren’t going crazy. You’re just dealing with trauma and trying to cope.” 1

Emotional trauma is a common element for nearly EVERY victim. Some traumas you never ‘get over’ but you can learn ways to cope.

NOVA recommends the following keys to coping:
– Physical health and abilities
– Emotional and mental capacities and strength
– Having family and community support
– Having spiritual connections
– A positive view of ‘self’ and life

I’m innocent. Why did she accuse me of rape?

Situations that often result in false date rape accusations can include: 2

– If the alleged victim drank too much alcohol or consumed a combination of drugs and alcohol and then had sex or sexual intercourse with their date, they could later forget they consented and accuse the date of rape.

– The alleged victim may have claimed they said no to sex, but actually did consent to sexual intercourse. The alleged victim may regret their decision to have sex and decide to press charges for date rape.

– False allegations of date rape can also occur if the alleged victim had consensual sex with the alleged offender, but chose to press charges for date rape because they were angry, jealous or out of retaliation.

I’m giving NO legal advice here, but this seems wise:

“If you have been accused of date rape, you need to take immediate steps to protect yourself.  It is vital that you contact an attorney who is experienced in defending those accused of sexual assaults.  Date rape is a very easy charge to make but one that can have devastating consequences.  Many innocent people have fallen victim to false accusations of date rape.  It is essential that you find an knowledgeable criminal defense attorney who is committed to fight to prove your innocence.  You can handle some legal situations without the aid of an attorney.  Being accused of date rape is not one of them.”  2

Again, I do not give legal advice, but this might be helpful advice to men wrongly accused of rape.
– Cooperate with the Police
– Determine Your Alibi
– Don’t Fabricate an Alibi
– Take a Lie Detector Test
– Find Witnesses

Warnings To All Men:

Don’t abuse alcohol: “Violence, sexual assaults and date rape — Drinkers are more prone to injuries due to violence; and two- thirds of sexual assaults and date rapes among teens and college students are alcohol-related.” 3

Don’t put yourself in sexually compromising situations. Many, many men have victimized women; because of that, those men who are falsely accused are not easily believed.

1 – This quote from NOVA came from here

2 – This information came from here

3 – This information came from here

Bring on the comments

  1. […] Today’s account was written from a female’s perspective. Tomorrow’s account is from the male’s perspective entitled “His Story.” […]

  2. […] Her Story His Story […]

Leave a Comment