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Feb 21

Dating Disaster – “Date Rape” – Her Story – Part 1 of 2

Posted on Thursday, February 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

167743_black_4Date rape is real, it’s tragic, and sometimes it’s very confusing.

This is a fictional account that’s written – based on true stories – to give words to those who are scared, silent, and silenced.

Today’s account was written from a female’s perspective.
Tomorrow’s account is from the male’s perspective entitled “His Story.”

I met this guy online, he seemed perfect.
We talked all the time.
Over the next few months we became best friends.
Finally, we decided to meet at the mall.
I was so excited.
My friends Jenny & Jessica went with me to check him out.
He seemed a little nervous with all three of us there, but he won them over.
Behind his back they gave me the thumbs up and later took off.
After my friends left we walked and talked all night through the mall.
It was all just a wonderful dream.
Now it seems like a nightmare.
Instead of taking me home, he took me to this parking lot.
He’s so cute. He seemed so sweet.
He leaned in, I leaned forward.
I liked kissing him.
Kissing, led to making out.
Everything seemed so right.
Then it went so…wrong.
Well, he started doing things.
I tried to tell him to stop and take me home.
He just wouldn’t stop.
I don’t know how to tell you this.
He tore my clothes, I tried to stop him and then he…he raped me.
I can’t believe it. He raped me!
When he was done I was crying.
I said through my tears, “Why did you rape me?
He looked confused.
The he looked angry. “I didn’t rape you!“, he yelled.
And, you better not tell anyone I did.
After a few minutes of silence, we drove off and he dropped me off.

I don’t understand why it ended that way.
I’m scared. I’m angry. I don’t know what to do.

Don’t go through this alone.
You’re not alone.
Get help.

Note – Again, the following is not meant to diminish the innocence of falsely accused males, but is meant to give voice and support to victimized women.

“Date rape is commonly defined as forcible sexual contact during a voluntary social engagement in which a person does not intend to engage in sexual activities and resists the contact. The fact that the engagement was voluntary and the parties were acquainted is not a defense. Nor is previous sexual contact between the parties a defense to date rape charges. The victim does not necessarily have to reject the advance or physically object to demonstrate lack of consent.” 1

This situation is a crisis.

NOVA, the National Organization for Victim Assistance explains that, “One of the defining characteristics of a crisis is resulting trauma. When something is unexpected, unique and overwhelming to our daily experience, that can result in traumatic reactions. It is important to recognize that traumatic reactions vary from person-to-person and event-to-event, based upon a number of variables.

Most likely, your reactions are common. These are described as ‘common reactions to an uncommon situation.’ You aren’t going crazy. You’re just dealing with trauma and trying to cope.” 2

You’re not crazy, it just feels crazy.

Emotional trauma is a common element for nearly EVERY victim. Some traumas you never ‘get over’ but you can learn ways to cope.

NOVA recommends the following keys to coping:
– Physical health and abilities
– Emotional and mental capacities and strength
– Having family and community support
– Having spiritual connections
– A positive view of ‘self’ and life

What should I do if I believe that I have been date raped? 3

If you believe that you have been the victim of date rape, you should:
• Go to the police station or hospital immediately.
• If you believe you were drugged, get a urine test as soon as possible, as “date rape” drugs can leave your system quickly. GHB leaves the body in 12 hours. Rohypnol only stays in the body for several hours, but can be detected in urine up to 72 hours after taking it.
• Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting help. These things may give evidence of the rape.
• You also can call a crisis center or a hotline to talk with a counselor. The National Sexual Assault Hotline can be reached at 1-800-656-HOPE. “RAINN’s Online Hotline: Free. Safe. Confidential.” 3

You can hear from another woman’s perspective here.

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center has lots of helpful help too.

1 – I found this quote here.

2 – This quote from NOVA came from here

3 – From LawInfo

Bring on the comments

  1. […] account was written from a female’s perspective entitled “Her Story“. Today’s account is from the male’s […]

  2. […] Her Story His Story […]

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