Posted on Wednesday, February 26, 2014 in Uncategorized
Last week a snowfall dumped ten inches of snow in our yard, driveway and on our streets. Many mysilentscream readers need no explanation, but allow me to explain for the rest. 1
When snow falls in urban areas, especially when snow falls in large amounts during weekdays, life continues. It may continue at a crawl, but people need to get home from school or work. They take the bus home, commute home, or drive home; they need to get home.
And, last week cars, buses, and trucks did what they do; they transported. They also compacted the freshly-fallen snow.
When the storm stopped the roads were left with at least an inch of scary-slippery ice. I’ve watched several cars sliding through car-filled intersections.
It can be dangerous at a crossroad.
I’d like to share about a crossroad in my life. Some of you have heard it before, but I think it’s worth telling and worth reading.
Driving on North Avenue underneath the Mannheim Avenue overpass I had a decision to make.
Would I decide wisely?
Would I sit there silently, feeling guilty?
Or, would I admit that I knew God but was acting sinfully?
I decided, very deliberately, that my friend Dave needed the love and forgiveness of Jesus more than I needed him to approve of my cocaine use.
God was working to get my attention.
That night I acted in the fear of God. Despite my intentional sinfulness God wanted my attention, and I knew it. While God never needed my attention, God knew I craved God’s attention. Over and over I had prayed looking for some neon sign to illuminate “Scott, I love you!”
Instead, there under the the Mannheim Avenue overpass in the dark front seat of Dave’s silver Nova I got my neon sign. Actually, I heard nothing, saw no neon signs, I just knew: “Stop settling. Point Dave in God’s direction.”
In my loneliness and flawed decision-making I expressed my dissatisfaction with my life and my circumstances. I was living a lie. Looking for life in things that took it away. I was in a spiritual desert: “The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst…”2
I was wandering through life looking for some excitement and satisfaction. I hoped that drugs and alcohol would bring me happiness and excitement. Drugs and alcohol were briefly satisfying, but they they emptied my wallet and added to my emptiness.
Fortunately, God never wants us to stay stuck in our pain. “I the LORD will answer them; I…will not forsake them.” 3
God knew the answer to my deepest questions. God knew what my heart hungered for. God knew before I knew I was hungry.
And, God knows you too!
God knows our needs better than we do.
We think we know what’s best.
We try to handle life on our own terms.
God offers us more. 4
1 – In 2013 mysilentscream readers arrived from more than seventy (!) countries. Thank you all for joining us!
2-3 – Isaiah 41:17, NIV
4 – You can email me for details too.
Image edited from Wikimedia Commons