Posted on Tuesday, August 14, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values
Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.
Yesterday in Olympics: Judge & Jury I introduced some of the challenges we face when we assess — when we judge — the lives of other people.
I met the girl everyone thought was a “b****.” She hasn’t been spoiled all her life, just since her dad abandoned her and her mom died.
I met the “lazy guy” who never did any housework because he wasn’t taught to do so. His hard-working mom was too tired to clean house and too tired to parent.
I met the “rebel” who had never had rules; some kids prove themselves trustworthy and need few rules, not him. He needed (Spiderman) Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben to teach him that “with great power comes great responsibility.” Unfortunately, the rebel only got power (in the form of “freedom”) from his parents.
I met the “a-hole.” He pounded my face.
Later I learned about his violent dad who had implanted and watered his own seed of anger in his son.
I was angry, abused, fearful and resentful toward my abuser.
I had a right to feel my feelings.
I had a right to want justice.
I also had a limited perspective.
I also didn’t know the whole story.
Rage against my bullies was warranted – and some of it may still hidden deep within me.
But, for some of them, I now have a more compassionate perspective.
They were victims too.