Last year I introduced you to my hero, June Oulund.  Today I’d like to introduce you to two more of my heroes.

We spent the weekend with my college roommate Gerry Andersen and his wife Julie.  Though we haven’t seen each other for almost twenty years, it’s like our relationship was on pause and we took up the conversation instantly.

Where Have They Been?

Gerry and Julie live in a small village in the mountains of Mexico with people who have never had their language in written form.

Stresses weigh us down.

When we’re screaming nonsense, pounding on walls, swearing about our circumstances, and mumbling under our breath, we need hope; because , “A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.“  1

Worries tighten us up.

“If you are cheerful, you feel good; if you are sad, you hurt all over.” 2 Fortunately, there’s hope. 

And, now’s an ideal opportunity to introduce you to an uplifting, hope-filled song by India.Arie.

“There’s Hope“

When we feel alone we look for relationships.
When we build relationships we look for connection.
When we recognize connection we hope for intimacy.
When we embrace intimacy…

… sometimes our hopes are dashed.

Our girlfriend is too manic.
Our boyfriend is too needy.
Our wife is too wounded.
Our husband is too self-centered.

And, it all comes crumbling down.

You can’t make her happy!
You can’t make him happy!
You feel so alone.

Left unchecked angry and loneliness are the ingredients for rage.

I hate this! Nothing makes sense.
I know I’m not good enough! And…
I know I will never be!

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.
You tried to make him happy and didn’t.
You tried to make her happy and didn’t.

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.

And Now…

You feel frustrated because life sucks, and your daydream begins to feel like a nightmare.  “My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.” 1 

And people find out what happened.  They start talking about what they think happened.  They start guessing what you did, or what you could have or should have done.  Then they start gossiping, “Their insults have broken my heart…If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” 2

In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.”  Yesterday I reviewed the book The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.

In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules, but baseball is a piece of cake compared to “the code” we try to decode when we’re in relationships.

Code – “It’s not working out…”

She seemed so sweet.  We’d text one another all day, every day.  Now nothing.  I guess I didn’t make her happy.

In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules.  In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.”

While I’d heard of “the code,” it’s even more complicated than I realized.

This week I finished reading The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.

As a lifelong baseball fan I found it valuable to understand how the game of baseball is actually played by major league players.

Tuesday I posted Norman Vincent Peale’s 10 Rules For Getting Along With People. Yesterday I wrote about how socially awkward I can be.

Don’t be Egotistical or a Know-It-All

Have you ever blurted something out without thinking it through?
Have you ever mumbled something incoherent to a crush?
Have you ever left a voicemail that sounded stupid, but you can’t take it back.
Have you ever regretted saying something before you even finished saying it?
Me too!

This week I started working with a team of directors that I was new to. Years ago after my first year at TreeHouse I met with my boss to discuss my year in review. That year the first thing we addressed was my lack of social skills.

Growing up my best friends were our family’s German Shepherd dogs. I hadn’t developed the people skills necessary to be manage the many dynamic social relationships I needed available to me at TreeHouse.

In my first review we discussed my lack of social skills.
And my second.
And my third.
And my fourth.
And my fifth.

Yesterday I joined a team of directors.

The people are all people I know and respect, but I don’t know them well, nor do I know how they work together as a team.

Since I know that I can be socially awkward, especially when I am a little nervous I’m looking for suggestions to help make the transition smooth. The Bible gives some wise advice that I am embracing:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 1

Try to live at peace with everyone! Live a clean life. 2

Author and speaker Phil Callaway took an oath of honesty for one year, and wrote about what he discovered.

“To Be Perfectly Honest” is formatted as a year-long diary, with 365 entries chronicling the author’s year of trying to tell the truth.

I found “To Be Perfectly Honest” to be very good at exposing weaknesses in our lives; in MY life.

Though I was taught better, I grew up an insecure liar. As an adult I am committed to telling the truth, but I am amazed how often “little white lies” creep out unexpectedly when talking to a stranger in the phone who is not giving me the customer service I think I want and deserve.