If you’re a typical husband:
– you’re not eager to be vulnerable
– you don’t want to be corrected or enjoy opportunities to challenge your behavior
– you don’t want to schedule weekly interrogation sessions
Those concerns are addressed in the book. 

This book is meant to build you up, not to break you down.

The devotions are easy to follow and quite short — 800-900 words each — three or four minutes of reading.

Some readers will appreciate the brevity of each weekly devotional. Others will want more to reflect on. For those readers, Eggerichs provides 3-5 additional questions that “can be used for individual study, discussion groups, or sparking conversations between husband and wife” in the appendix.

I found Eggerichs’ book beneficial and worth my time, and I believe it will be worth your time too; even though the information varies in quality from insightful to clichéd to uninspired as the following four samples illustrate.

Chapter 1: And They Lived Happily Ever After . . . Not Necessarily
INSIGHT: In marriage, it is never about not falling. It is always about getting back up.

Chapter 20: Sex and Affection: A Two-Way Street
“Sex and affection are the best proving grounds to help you and your spouse grow in love and respect for each other physically, emotionally, and intimately. Look at the sexual aspect of your relationship as a compliment to how important you are in your spouse’s life. You are the only person who can meet this need in your spouse!”

Chapter 40: If Only We Didn’t Have Money Problems
INSIGHT: The Lord will provide for all our needs; we may have to wait for our wants.

Chapter 48: Do You Know How to Fight Fair?
ACTION: The next time you disagree, argue, or fight, stop and think: Am I being fair? Friendly? Civil? Gentle? Godly? Talk together about how to develop code words or phrases to use when fighting fair.

While there are a couple of common issues that Eggerichs does not address, he does touch on many subjects his readers will appreciate (see below).

Chapter 1: And They Lived Happily Ever After . . . Not Necessarily
Chapter 2: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different!
Chapter 3: Do You Have a Goodwilled Marriage?
Chapter 4: God Joined You Together, and He Will Keep You Together
Chapter 5: The 80:20 Ratio: The Secret to Appreciating Your Marriage
Chapter 6: Mistakes Happen—and Then What?
Chapter 7: Question: What Is Love? Answer: C-O-U-P-L-E
Chapter 8: Question: What Is Respect? Answer: C-H-A-I-R-S
Chapter 9: Newton’s Law: The Crazy Cycle in Action
Chapter 10: He Loves Us Because He Loves Us Because He Loves Us!
Chapter 11: Her Pink plus His Blue Equals God’s Purple
Chapter 12: It’s All About Perspective
Chapter 13: Those Who Pray Together Learn to Love & Respect Together
Chapter 14: Who Is on Your Mental Committee?
Chapter 15: To Tell the Truth . . . Is Not Always Easy
Chapter 16: Feelings Aren’t Facts—Always Sort It Out
Chapter 17: What Is Really Going on Here?
Chapter 18: John Wooden: A Love & Respect Legacy for the Ages
Chapter 19: Forget the Negative Snapshots—Enjoy the Positive Movie
Chapter 20: Sex and Affection: A Two-Way Street
Chapter 21: Keep Your Eyes on the Lord, Not the Problem
Chapter 22: Our “Good” May Be Willing, but Our Flesh Can Be Weak
Chapter 23: Excuse Me, Is that Your Foot on My Air Hose?
Chapter 24: It’s Hard to Be Negative While Being Thankful
Chapter 25: Don’t Believe Everything Your Spouse Says (Especially in Anger)
Chapter 26: Forgiveness, Part I: Love & Respect Takes Two Good Forgivers
Chapter 27: Forgiveness, Part II: Got Forgiveness? Let Jesus Be Your Model
Chapter 28: No Matter How You Feel, Trust Scripture More Than Your Feelings
Chapter 29: Remember, God Designed Your Spouse— Be Patient!
Chapter 30: Impact Others with Love & Respect
Chapter 31: Mutual Submission, Sex, and Tuesday Night
Chapter 32: Anger Can Be Dangerous . . . Handle with Care
Chapter 33: All Things Do Work Together for Good . . . Sooner or Later
Chapter 34: Do You Seek to Understand or Only Want to Be Understood?
Chapter 35: It Is All About Me, After All
Chapter 36: Who Makes the First Move in Your Marriage?
Chapter 37: To Overcome the Past, Focus on the Prize
Chapter 38: Is My Response Always My Responsibility?
Chapter 39: Look! Just Over Your Spouse’s Shoulder! It’s Jesus!
Chapter 40: If Only We Didn’t Have Money Problems
Chapter 41: Your Spouse Has Needs Only You Can Fill
Chapter 42: But Is Your Spouse Supposed to Meet All Your Needs?
Chapter 43: Your Children Are Watching
Chapter 44: I Am Not Being Defensive!
Chapter 45: How Positive Are You with Each Other?
Chapter 46: Do You Ever Play the Blame Game?
Chapter 47: Groupthink Can Be Toxic to Your Marriage
Chapter 48: Do You Know How to Fight Fair?
Chapter 49: Your Words Reveal Your Heart
Chapter 50: Why We All Need Respect
Chapter 51: Plug into the Power of Optimism
Chapter 52: When It’s All Been Said and Done

Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

That said, Murrow’s title was compelling.  Here’s what I learned.

Here are his chapter titles and my brief summaries:

PART 1: WHERE ARE THE MEN?

1. Perfectly Designed – The church needs a re-design to open doors to men.
2. Yes, There Really Is a Gender Gap – And, it’s increasing worldwide
3. Men: Who Needs ’Em? – We do they bring balance, energy and drive
4. Who Are the Missing Men? – They’re getting “results” somewhere.
5. The Masculinity Bank – A typical man won’t do something he believes is feminine.
6. The Two Jesuses – We’re taught God’s meekness we no longer fear his wrath.

PART 2: CHURCH CULTURE VS. MAN CULTURE

7. Victoria’s Secret…When We Lost the Men – When the church culture feminized.
8. The Christian-Industrial Complex – Has softened Jesus’ image.
9. Men and Contemporary Worship -  Men need songs they can sing in the right key.
10. Twelve Things Men Fear About Church – (This list is poignant & funny.)
11. The Stars vs. the Scrubs – Men need to feel they offer a valuable contribution.
12. Check Your Testosterone at the Door – Feminine vocabulary is used more.
13. How Churches Feminize over Time – We need to reassert a kingdom model.
14. How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith – “Sit still.  Be quiet”

PART 3: CALLING THE CHURCH BACK TO MEN

15. The Battle to Reengage Men – Give men attention and contribution, and they respond.
16. Why Megachurches Are Mega – Men have prominent, conspicuous roles.
17. Pastors and Men – Male pastors need to connect with other men.
18. Teaching and Men – Like Jesus keep it concise, visual, and interactive.
19. Getting the Big Story Right – The gospel is equal parts demanding mission and personal relationship.
20. What About Women? – Women pastors and leaders, become students of men.
21. Young Men and Faith – WANTED: spiritually healthy male role models
22. Men, Prayer, and a Few Other Things – Men change when they minister to others—and when they allow others to minister to them.
23. How Men Minister to Others – Offer principles to help men feel needed again.
24. How to Minister to Men – Build a band of brothers who build up one another.
25. A Church for Everyone – Develop Christian communities for men.

I highly recommend this book for Christian communities who want to see some of their blind-spots and for those who want to have a positive impact in their transforming their micro-culture.

In the forward the author wrote, “I’ve trimmed this revision down to fighting weight. Why Men was my first book, and I didn’t know if there was going to be another one. So I packed it with too much verbiage and a few rabbit trails. I’ve completely reorganized this new edition, adding the latest findings and examples from churches that are turning the tide. And I’ve created the most requested feature—a chapter-by-chapter group discussion guide.”  

That’s the kind of honest-to-guys (and gals) talk this book includes.

The guide is available free from the author’s website, in three versions (6wk, 12wk, 24wk versions).  I highly recommend the discussion guides found on: www.churchformen.com/guides.

Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

I was excited to review the Jesus Calling Devotional Bible even though it was published using The Holy Bible, New King James Version a translation I seldom have used.

There is a topical index listing more than forty topics most readers of the Jesus Calling Devotional Bible would have chosen.

Following the Topical Index is the “When Your Heart Longs for Help” index.

This index guides readers to personalized prayers and Bible passages that address the concerns and situations readers of the Jesus Calling Devotional Bible would likely face. This index includes both page numbers for the prayers and the related verse references on the topics.

The “When Your Heart Longs for Help” index is broken into three sub-categories, listed below with an example.

When you need: Balance … 1070, 1322 (Psalm 18:31–33; Proverbs 3:5, 6)

When you want: Comfort … 298, 1828 (Psalms 23:1–6; 119:49, 50; 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)

When you feel: Afraid … 292, 348, 776, 782, 844, 1036, 1254, 1292, 1508, 1672 (Proverbs 29:25; Isaiah 26:3; 41:10; Revelation 1:17)

Devotionals are selected from Sarah Young’s devotionals and placed in the Bible text near a key verse or reading that is related to the topic.

For instance below is the text of Romans 12:1-2, a personal prayer from “Conrad” followed by the devotional written by Sarah Young, who uses the words of Scripture to provide Jesus’ voice which answers and provides guidance to address the prayer.

Romans 12

Living Sacrifices to God

1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

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Transformation — to become all that You have created me to be. That, Lord, is my goal. I know it is Yours as well. But everywhere I turn nowadays I get distracted by other goals I am supposed to accomplish or expectations I am supposed to meet. I feel driven to succeed, driven to make more money, driven to be the best at my job. When I start to dwell on these goals and my inability to accomplish them, I feel as if I’ve stumbled into a deep, dark pit.

Discouragement is always the result.

I am much older now than when I first met You; my youth is long past. Realistically, I may have fewer years left than I have already lived. It’s a daunting thought when I consider how far I have come and how far I have yet to go.

I’m tired of the pattern I see in my life, Lord—the pattern of going after goals You haven’t given me and the discouragement that inevitably follows. Help!
— Conrad

——————————————————————————–

Renewing Your Mind

DO NOT BE CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND.

I understand your struggles; I know that the world exerts relentless pressure on you, trying to squeeze you into its mold. This is why you need time alone with Me. When you open up to Me and invite Me to transform you, I can work freely in you and accomplish amazing things. One of My most challenging tasks is renovating your mind, and My Spirit is always at work on this project. He does not overwhelm you with His Power. Instead, He prompts you gently and convicts you cleanly—showing you where you need to make changes and helping you develop new attitudes.

Many Christians are unable to discern My will because their minds are entangled in worldliness. The glitter and glamour of this world distract them from Me, so they do not sense My nearness. As you are transformed by the renewing of your mind, you progress in your ability to discern My good and perfect will. You also become increasingly aware of My loving Presence with you. This awareness is so pleasurable that it draws you ever closer to Me—increasing the effectiveness of My work in you, creating an upward spiral of transformation. Thus you grow not only closer to Me but also more like Me. This is a foretaste of what is to come when I am fully revealed: You will be like Me, for you will see Me as I am.

See also Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:17; 1 John 3:2
(From Jesus Lives by Sarah Young)

FOR MORE ON THIS TOPIC, SEE PAGE 1713.

——————————————————————————–

While Sarah Young’s devotionals are excellent and I would give them five stars, personally I would find the Jesus Calling Devotional Bible much more engaging if a translation of the Bible I preferred was chosen.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com [...] book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The author explores 10 choices that he believes we need to make if we are to experience genuine and lasting healing.

1. The Choice to Connect your life
Lie – All I need to heal is just God and me.

2. The Choice to Feel your life
Lie – Real Christians should have peace in all circumstances

3. The Choice to Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth
Lie – It does no good to look back or look inside

4. The Choice to Heal Your Future
Lie – Time Heals all wounds

5. The Choice to Help Your Life
Lie – I can figure this out myself

6. The Choice to Embrace Your Life
Lie – If I just act like there is no problem it will go away

7. The Choice to Forgive
Lie – Forgiveness is only for those who deserve it or earn it

8. The Choice to Risk Your Life
Lie – I must protect myself from anymore pain

9. The Choice to Serve
Lie – Until I am completely healed and strong, there is no place for me to serve God.

10. The Choice to Preserve
Lie – There is no hope for me.

Originally published in 2005, the new 2011 edition included the Healing Is a Choice Workbook?The workbook provides a question and answer sections at the end of each chapter so you don’t have to buy a separate workbook.  

For example, the Sixth Choice: The Choice to Embrace Your Life and corresponding Sixth Big Lie: “If I just act as if there is no problem, it will finally go away” has the following workbook questions:

1. Can you remember a time in your life when you were forced to face a situation that seemed overwhelming and out of control? Describe how you felt in the space provided.

2. How did you “face it”?

3. How did you recover?

And later:

1. Recall a time in your life when an undesired reality was thrust upon you. Perhaps it was a sudden, severe illness in your family, or even a death. Maybe it was the loss of a job, a divorce, or financial failure. How did you feel?

2. How did you respond to the event? Did you reject it at first or try to deny it was happening to you?

3. Have you been able to embrace it? If so, how long did it take? Or, are you still in the process of accepting and embracing it?

4. Since you embraced the new reality in your life, how have you felt? 

Arterburn offers his readers practical methodology and applicable tips, but there are no quick fixes; his compassionate approach appeals to me and will appeal to most readers.

Sweet invites his readers to consider the implications and benefits of living our Story as Christ’s Story.

Sweet captured the gospel and it’s implications accurately: “To be the humans God made us to be, we need grace.” We need that grace to effectively represent Christ for a dying world.

“The one thing that the church does that no one else can do is point us to the only Source of that grace. The Lamb of God takes away the sins of the world. The church is called to be in the healing business and the holiness business.”

This the history of abject hypocrisy in our churches and among individual Christians is the worst of our sins; it implies our mission is self-protection and pretension.

I agree with Sweet that, “The holier and healthier we are, the better human beings we become the more we live the vision of the One in whom all truth and beauty and goodness dwell, the more we feel ourselves in need of mercy and the more drunk, possessed, and overcome we are with the loving mercy we receive.”

Our humble dependence on God attract more people to the mercy of God than all our false attempts to look better than we are.

For, “If we are followers of the greatest Lover who ever lived, then we will be great lovers ourselves. If the Spirit of God is in us and we are abiding in Christ, love will spew naturally from us.”

But, as Sweet wrote, “healing and holiness aren’t easy.”

Throughout the book Sweet has included “Interactives”which are suitable for individual reflection and group conversations. For instance, “If you were to create a ‘Pilgrim’s Playlist’ for your iPod, what would be your selection of songs? For the ancient pilgrim, of course, it would include the ‘Song of Ascents’ from the Psalms (Psalms 120-134). Today’s pilgrims might choose ‘Wayfaring Stranger,’ ‘Lonely Stranger’ (Eric Clapton), and ‘The World I Know’ (Collective Soul). What else?”

I enjoyed I Am a Follower: The Way, Truth, and Life of Following Jesus and recommend that you read it too.

Picking up the book I read, “There are plenty of good people, well-meaning people, sincere people — but not enough deep people.”

Intrigued I stepped in.

I had not read a Gordon MacDonald book in more than twenty years.  With that in mind, I initially felt a full step out of the loop. MacDonald had introduced his readers to a fictional church and and a fictional town in a previous book entitled Who Stole My Church?

Going Deep has been a subject presented by many.  The classic “In His Steps” — a best-selling book written by Charles Monroe Sheldon — introduced us to a fictional minister in a fictional congregation in which he challenged his congregants ask each day “What would Jesus do?”

While the subject has been traveled before, MacDonald does present a clever way to draw in his audience.

Those who prefer authors with a brief narrative and a strong outline might be frustrated, impatient and even bored.

Those readers who listen patiently and can learn vicariously may truly enjoy the dialogue and expanded narrative that MacDonald provides.

While a bit too simplistic and devoid of much of the pain and panic of many people I know I think readers will be able to extract meaningful nuggets of truth and apply them into their own context.

While the book is worth reading, I found that at 363 pages, less narrative and more brevity would have kept me turning rather than flipping pages.

My mission was to bless my dad with the same options to expand his Nook Color’s power as I was enjoying. The bonus was that I was able to offer you, mysilentscream readers, the secrets to my success.

As I finish this week I’m left with a desire to share four truths about completing a project. I’ve been blessed with many good role models, high expectations and caring support, but with that in mind I know that when I take on a challenge I still have to do the work.

I work hard. I can also obsess. Hard work is an advantage, obsession a weakness.

Here are four truths I am trying to hold tightly.

Focus on the goal, but don’t obsess.

Learn what you can to supplement what you don’t know, but don’t obsess.

Double-check details, but don’t obsess.

Move forward, progress toward completion, but don’t obsess.

Finally, if you would like to buy a Nook Color you can buy one here:
Barnes and Noble: New -
Barnes and Noble: Refurbished -

Buy.com [refurbished] -

Amazon -

mysilentscream is a place to learn how to make living life easier.  I focus on practical suggestions that help relationships thrive.  I provide real life examples that help you feel less alone while struggling through life.

Am I doing my job?

Comment back please!

Sara Groves is one of my favorite song writers, her song Eyes Wide Open is a good way to describe how I’m still trying to learn from my successes and my mistakes; my foibles, failures, fame and f… well, you get my point.

Again, my goal is that mysilentscream is a place to learn how to make living life easier.  I focus on practical suggestions that help relationships thrive.  I provide real life examples that help you feel less alone while struggling through life.

Am I doing my job?

Comment back please!

Sara Groves’ Eyes Wide Open

I’ve got layers of lies that I don’t even know about yet
bathroom doors turned billboards
no place left untouched without the mumblin
tell me what I need, tell me what I want
worship the things that we’ve made with our own hands

in so deep I don’t even know it, I don’t even know it
rubbing these sticks till the air is thick
no spark no heart no inspiration
tell me what I need, tell me what I want
worship the things that we made
with our own hands

oh I’m gonna find the truth
even if it kills me
oh I gotta get a new view
the only way I know to
oh I gotta keep my eyes wide open
keep my eyes wide open

diggin in the dirt till it hurts
won’t come up for air don’t care
how long it takes me
I get tired want to just get by can’t I get by
but I can’t cuz there’s a
fire in my bones, fire in my bones
burnin in my bones

when the lights come up on this town
when the thing goes down wanna be found
when the lights come up on this
when the lights come up on this town
when the thing goes down
wanna be found tryin
when the lights come up
wanna be telling the truth

Some of the artists will be familiar to you, most of them will not.

Sound Sunday added a streaming audio option so that we can preview the song or album before downloading it.

Tina give us concise and helpful reviews of the artists. In case you still don’t know where to start, here is my favorite: I LOVE the Mike Jones Jazz Trio

For those of you who miss Nine Inch Nails you’ll appreciate that Trent Reznor is still making music:
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’s The Social Network
and How To Destroy Angels’s Free Digital EP.

When I write I love to listen to quality instrumental, electronica and DJ mixes especially free ones. TreeHouse alum, Sam Cushing, works as Sidney Frost. I love his stuff!

Sound Sunday also introduced me to some new and talented artists are just getting to know:

Arthur Dellea – Exclusives
Bart Nova
Big Gigantic
bugseed’s Bohemian Beatnik LP
Freakah – Free Album No. 1
Jelly Antler – 1
Junkmeh – New Floods
Koen – Outputs
MISUCCC

Enjoy!

A few stinking days slowly passed and after a while we could smell the dead mouse no more.

Last week we smelled a “dead mouse” again.  A search turned up nothing.  Each visitor was warned vociferously about entering our stinky house.  Graciously they persevered and enjoyed our company despite the odors.

It’s been ten days now since we first smelled the “dead mouse”.

What began as a stinky smell catapulted into strong and putrid.  We assumed after a few days that the decomposing carcass would expend its death-scent and finish decaying scent-free.

We were wrong.

Amy concluded that our laundry room was the source of the odor.  Again, no mouse.  Then we turned our attention to the floor drain.  We made a call.

This morning at 8:30 AM there was a ring on the doorbell.  Dave Yell of Yell Sewer & Drain Cleaning arrived to address our laundry room odor.

Excursus – Several years ago in a golf cart mishap my big toe was broken and then smashed back together.  When my doctor saw the x-ray he said, “OOOOHHHH.”  I interpreted that as “not good.”

Today when Dave Yell and I walked downstairs Dave said, “OOOOHHHH.”  I interpreted that as “not good.”

Dave cleared our floor drain, laundry room sink drains and the pipe from the kitchen sink to the basement; all for a reasonable price.

Amy noticed that the rotten smell was the same nasty smell a couple of hours after Dave left.  So Amy started sniffing.  She started crawling around the laundry room looking for the “dead mouse” again.

While at work I received the following text:

“Basement still stunk. Started to move things. Found what was causing the stench. Someone pulled out a whole chicken out of the freezer and didn’t realize it fell down under some boxes and therefore didn’t put it back into freezer. So we have clean drains for the winter and no more smell.”

I replied, “Sad and hilarious.”

Amy added, “Yeah. It wasn’t a dead mouse but a dead chicken.”

—————————————————————————————-

FYI – If you need a drain cleaned [or an odor consultant] you might like:

Yell Sewer & Drain Cleaning

9113 Cambridge Ave

Brooklyn Park, MN 55443-1734

Telephone: 763-424-5469

Contact: Dave Yell