We can count on her. She has poise.
He produces in the clutch. He’s reliable.

Be careful not to count on previous reliability.

Previous Success Doesn’t Guarantee Future Success

This past Sunday the former Super Bowl MVP Deion Branch dropped two passes, and former Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady threw an interception, missed an open receiver and looked panicked.  They play for the New England Patriots, and lost.

I have found that choosing wisely in clutch situations is a constant battle against:
- will
- circumstances
- health
- emotions

Many people battle with their emotions, and lose.  

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions.   According to Daniel Goleman there are five abilities that comprise our emotional intelligence. These abilities include:

• Knowing our emotions
• Managing our emotions
• Recognizing emotions in others
• Managing relationships with others
• Motivating ourselves to achieve our goals 1

Our emotional intelligence likely contributes more to successful and enjoyable living, than our general intelligence.

Good News: Since emotional intelligence is learned rather than inherited, it can be improved.

Clutch Players In The Lunchroom

I’ve worked with thousands of teens over the past twenty years.  Each with unique skill-sets, life experiences and drives.

As a student of people I love learning about cultures.  While the adolescent culture is constantly changing there are some constants.  One constant is some people are consistent students, some people are inconsistent students and some people are clutch players in the lunchroom.

Clutch players in the lunchroom:

• Remember a quiz is next hour and remind their classmates
• Focus on the task at hand and help others to do so
• Help others focus so they can succeed as well
• Recognize when conversations are playful and when they’ll escalate
• Step in and defend against bullies
• Mediate, calm others, and extinguish impulsive vengeful responses

Have you seen thse skills in others?
Have you seen those skills in yourself?

That’s applying emotional intelligence.

Personally, since I can be emotional, self-protective and impulsive I have found that a quick, sincere, three-second “Please God help me.  I need wisdom to choose wisely.” prayer has calmed me, focused me and helped me many times.

“If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won’t correct you for asking.” 2

Want to be a clutch player in your lunchroom?  Ask God for help and embrace the value of developing your emotional intelligence.

1 – Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman is http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%201:5&version=NIV;NCV;NLT;CEV;MSG“>James 1:5, CEV

I’m reading, and on overload:
– Human Genome Project
– Emotional Intelligence
– GenEthics
– Autonomy and Human Rights in Health Care
– Pathological and Non-Pathological Traits
– Cloning and Stem Cell-Based Soft Tissue Regeneration

According to Lee Strobel, “when scientists announced that they had finally mapped the three billion codes of the human genome — a project that filled the equivalent of 75,490 pages of The New York Times — divine references abounded. President Clinton said scientists were ‘learning the language in which God created life,’ while geneticist Francis S. Collins, head of the Human Genome Project, said DNA was ‘our own instruction book, previously known only to God.’ ” 1

I’m reading about the uniqueness of people, and my mind keeps coming back to song — about God — by the David Crowder Band called “No One Like You.”

“No One Like You” 2

You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You’re the same
You never change, no never

And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever

How could You be so good to me?

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You

Everywhere You are there
Earth or air surrounding
I’m not alone, the heavens sing along
My God You’re so astounding
How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that’

You, You, You, You, You, You

How could You be so good to me?
How could You be so good to me?
We’re not alone, so sing along
We’re not alone, so sing along, sing along, sing along

There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There his no one like our God, yeah

1 – Lee Strobel’s The Case For A Creator

2 – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidcrowderband/noonelikeyou.html

The snow fell relentlessly. By the end of the game the ice on the rink was covered by inches of snow.

My friend Matt Benson, pictured here, was playing goalie during this Spring storm. He lay in goal on a comfy layer of fresh snow.

He’s safe but more than once while playing broomball I’ve been bruised and bloodied, but on this particular day I felt nearly invincible.

Snow fell while we raced across the ice. The falling snow made falling on the ice a far safer venture than usual.

On other days broomball played on a slick wet sheet of ice can be almost scary.

Blizzards in Life

In “Healing Is a Choice” Stephen Arterburn asked, “Are there some things you’re doing that are causing you to be separated from others and from the life you could be enjoying?  Are there areas of your life that are full of conflict and struggle that you wish would just go away? 1

Have you ever walked away from a conversation or a fight wondering why you did what you did or said what you said?

Almost everyone has, but not everyone goes through the pain and struggle of getting to the “why” behind the choices that are causing problems, conflict, and emotional turmoil. We heal our lives as we begin to search for truth about why we do what we do and why we feel the way we feel.”

Following are twenty questions that will aid in taking inventory of your life:

1. Starting as early as you can remember, who were the people in your life who hurt you?

2. Was there anything you did to bring on that hurt, or were they solely responsible?

3. What was your reaction to that hurt? Did you forgive them, hold on to a grudge, or try to seek your own revenge?

4. Is there any way you could have altered your reaction to the hurt?

5. Starting as early as you can remember, who were the people in your life whom you hurt?

6. Did they do something first that hurt you, or were you acting without provocation?

7. Who have you hurt the worst? Arrange your list of those you hurt in the order of the most damage to the least.

8. What was your reaction when you first realized you had hurt each person?

9. What have you done to rectify the problem caused by your hurtful actions?

10. Is there anything you could do to make restitution?

11. Are you aware of your five greatest strengths? Write down what you think they are, and then ask five other people to tell you what they think they are.

12. Are you aware of your five greatest weaknesses? Write down what you think they are, and then ask five other people to tell you what they think they are.

13. What have you done to misuse your strengths? Have you been a good steward of them or have you wasted them?

14. What have you done to use your strengths well? Ask the same five people as in the previous questions where they have seen you use them well.

15. What have you done to correct or work on your weaknesses?

16. What could you do to work on them? Make a list.

17. What could you do to make restitution to those you have hurt?

18. Who could help you walk through a path of forgiveness toward those who have hurt you?

19. Write down a plan to contact those you have hurt, begin contacting them if it would not cause greater damage, and take notes on the things they tell you about yourself as you discuss the past.

20. Ask someone to be your partner in truth. Ask that person to help you discover the truth about yourself and motivate you to continue to work on the areas that need help.

If you take these twenty steps, monitoring how you feel along the way and journaling those feelings and other insights, I believe you will come to know yourself better. You will be taking what you know and using it to uncover what you do not know.

1 – Healing Is a Choice is available many places including on Amazon.com.

The author explores 10 choices that he believes we need to make if we are to experience genuine and lasting healing.

1. The Choice to Connect your life
Lie – All I need to heal is just God and me.

2. The Choice to Feel your life
Lie – Real Christians should have peace in all circumstances

3. The Choice to Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth
Lie – It does no good to look back or look inside

4. The Choice to Heal Your Future
Lie – Time Heals all wounds

5. The Choice to Help Your Life
Lie – I can figure this out myself

6. The Choice to Embrace Your Life
Lie – If I just act like there is no problem it will go away

7. The Choice to Forgive
Lie – Forgiveness is only for those who deserve it or earn it

8. The Choice to Risk Your Life
Lie – I must protect myself from anymore pain

9. The Choice to Serve
Lie – Until I am completely healed and strong, there is no place for me to serve God.

10. The Choice to Preserve
Lie – There is no hope for me.

Originally published in 2005, the new 2011 edition included the Healing Is a Choice Workbook?The workbook provides a question and answer sections at the end of each chapter so you don’t have to buy a separate workbook.  

For example, the Sixth Choice: The Choice to Embrace Your Life and corresponding Sixth Big Lie: “If I just act as if there is no problem, it will finally go away” has the following workbook questions:

1. Can you remember a time in your life when you were forced to face a situation that seemed overwhelming and out of control? Describe how you felt in the space provided.

2. How did you “face it”?

3. How did you recover?

And later:

1. Recall a time in your life when an undesired reality was thrust upon you. Perhaps it was a sudden, severe illness in your family, or even a death. Maybe it was the loss of a job, a divorce, or financial failure. How did you feel?

2. How did you respond to the event? Did you reject it at first or try to deny it was happening to you?

3. Have you been able to embrace it? If so, how long did it take? Or, are you still in the process of accepting and embracing it?

4. Since you embraced the new reality in your life, how have you felt? 

Arterburn offers his readers practical methodology and applicable tips, but there are no quick fixes; his compassionate approach appeals to me and will appeal to most readers.

I don’t believe on New Years resolutions I believe in doing. Yesterday I challenged you to give yourself the gift of ambition.

This year apply that renewed ambition to give yourself the gift of learning something new.

The Gift of Learning

Everyone I know wants to learn something.
Everyone I know pushes aside some of those dreams.

I know, you’re busy.
Fight off your excuses.

I know you’re tired.
Fight off your laziness.

I know you’re distracted from your goals.
Fight off your learned time-wasters like TV, video games, Facebook, etc.

I know you’re afraid that t won’t be worth it.
Don’t be afraid you don’t have to get a grade.

Take a big step or a small step.

Small Steps:

Search 5min for a quick five-minute education.
Search youtube for for something you’d like to learn about.

Bigger Steps:

You can get a wonderful education for free!   Here are links to great Universities:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Stanford

U-Cal Berkeley classes are available on itunes, youtube and via webcast.

and there are several other options from other U.S. schools.

International Education

Would you like an international education?

How about Open University in Great Britain?

Or, maybe an Australian education from University of Southern Queensland?

They all have free classes available.

This new year give yourself a gift; the gift of education.

I don’t believe on New Years resolutions I believe in doing.

Give yourself the gift of ambition.

Dream.
Make plans.
Believe in yourself.
Go for what you want.
Find a way to do it.
Get someone to help you find a way.

What gets in the way?

Do you get distracted from your goal?
Find a reliable accountability partner.

Do you get lazy?
Find a goal with a benefit that is better than your excuses.

It’s a new year and the party is over.
The good times can continue as you enjoy making dreams come true.

This year give yourself the gift of ambition.

While driving home I realized that I was hungry.  I had seen a Subway restaurant along the road and that seemed like a good idea.  Then Turtle Lake Casino came to mind.  I knew I had just been paid, but I only had four dollars in cash.  It seemed kinda silly to walk into a casino with only four dollars, and food seemed like a much better idea.

Turn left into Subway?  Turn right to the casino?

Finally I rationalized that I could, if I lost all my money, wait an hour until I got home to eat; so, I pulled into the casino parking lot.

Dank & Dark

I was a sunny day outside.  Upon walking into the casino it seemed especially dark.  It felt emotionless and stale.  Colorful fluorescent lights only seemed to  highlight the dingy atmosphere. Undeterred I headed to the cashier.

I sheepishly placed my money — four dollar bills –  on the counter.  “Can I have quarters please?” Without a word, four piles of quarters slid across the counter.

I picked out a slot machine.  One after another I dropped the quarters into the slot.  In a couple of minutes all but five of quarters were all gone.

That’s when I heard the sound.  Clang.  Clang.  Clang.  Someone had won on the dollar slot machine.  It was a wealthy, exciting sound.

Poorer but Hopeful

I walked back to the cashier.  I slid four quarters across the counter and asked, “Can I have a dollar coin?”

I walked back to the machines with my quarter and my dollar coin.

I’ve prayed many times.  My prayers are diverse  Sometimes things go “my way” and others prayers — including that the Chicago Cubs would win the World Series — seem to get answered with a resounding no. 

I’m not of the opinion that God controls, manages or even necessarily cares about every detail of our lives.  On the other hand, I must admit that I prayed that I would win when I pulled the slot machine lever.

I pulled the lever.

I heard it.  I heard that sound again — Clang.  Clang.  Clang. — a total of twelve times.

Let’s assume that there was no divine intervention and it was simply a mathematical solution based on the machine’s algorithm, but, for whatever reason, I WON!

I Tripled My Money

It was a great feeling.  No wonder people keep playing.  They want to hear that sound again.  They want to feel the joy of winning.

What happened next?  I collected my winnings.

The cashier must have thought I was so odd, but about sixty seconds after I got my dollar coin I was back. I cashed it all in.  I said to the cashier, “I’ll never do that good again.  Time to leave.”

I kept one of the dollar coins as a souvenir to remind me of that day.

Lesson I Learned

I have played slots a few times since, but I have never again tripled my money.

My money-management principle when I play slots is to play only what I predetermine that I am willing to play. I never to play my winnings.

Slots is IMO entertainment.  If you play the slots, have fun, pay for your entertainment, then walk away.  Hopefully you’ll walk away with some money in your pocket.

Should I buy this present?
Should I give this panhandler money?
Should I invest in this mutual fund?
Should I buy this house?
Should I choose this school?
Should I leave this job?
Should I ask her out?
Should I say “yes”?!?

What gamble are you always willing to take?

This week I’ve introduced you to “White Paws” and “Junior White Paws”, two squirrels who live in our backyard.

These two squirrels are regular visitors, but we didn’t give them nicknames.  Maybe you can think of some?!?

On the left hangs a block of seeds from a tree branch, attached to a rope, attached to an elastic band. In order to reach the block the squirrels have to sit below the block.  They have to crouch down and launch their body up — an equivalent leap for me would be fifteen feet above the ground.  They leap into the air and grab onto the block of seed.

That squirrel hangs upside down hanging from the seed block by her two small feet.

She hangs upside down while eating.  After she’s finished her mouthful, while still holding onto the block with her back feet, she can either swings back up to try to grab another mouthful of seeds or drop down to the ground and leap up again.

On the right is a squirrel sitting on what Amy calls the wheel of fun.  Amy attached the wheel of fun to the tree.  Four corn cobs hang one on each arm.  The arms rotate left and right  while the squirrels try to extricate a meal.  I cannot properly explain the challenges that that squirrel faces as they gather corn kernels from the wheel of fun, but this video will. 1

I hope that you can appreciate the ambitiousness of these two squirrels, I do.

In another lesson from the backyard, I admire the squirrels’ courage.

Actions That Take Courage

- Admitting you are wrong.
– Being the person you wish other people were.
– Choosing to say NO” when people are trying to get you to do something you know you shouldn’t.
– Doing what is right when everyone else isn’t.

“Whoever goes hunting for what is right and kind finds life itself—glorious life!“

1 – Someone with better video editing ability than I provided an entertaining youtube video I think you’ll enjoy here.

2 – Proverbs 21:21, MSG

“Simon Says” is a game for three or more players. One player leads the game as “Simon”.  “Simon” gives commands.

Commands that are preceded by “Simon says” are to be obeyed.  Those that are not preceded by “Simon says” should not be followed.

For instance, “Simon says, clap your hands.”  Should be obeyed.  “Keep clapping”, should not be obeyed.

Anyone who breaks one of these two rules is eliminated for the remainder of the game.

The goal of the game is to be the last player playing after all other players are eliminated.

That’s Unfair!

Simon’s objective is to eliminate all the other players without bias.  When Simon favors a player it’s unfair!  It’s also considered unfair to give impossible commands.  For instance, “Simon says, jump up in the air and hang there” is unfair.

No one like unfair.  It’s one f the many complaints people have about life, their circumstances and God.

It’s an old complaint: “What the Lord does isn’t fair.”

God unfair?

People will complain that God is unfair or even cruel to allow pain, suffering and disasters, but God argues that when bad consequences follow bad choices it’s just.

“But you say, ‘What the Lord does isn’t fair.’ Listen people … I am fair. It is what you do that is not fair! When good people stop doing good and do wrong, they will die because of it. They will die, because they did wrong.”

“What the Lord does isn’t fair.” was probably was like our saying, “life is unfair.”  People had lost any sense that they were suffering because of their sin.  Like many people today with a “whatever goes” attitude they were saying that it made no difference how they acted.  Determined to break down that attitude, God guaranteed forgiveness for those who turn away from their sins.

“When the wicked stop being wicked and do what is fair and right, they will save their lives. Because they thought about it and stopped doing all the sins they had done, they will surely live; they will not die. But the people of Israel still say, ‘What the Lord does isn’t fair.’ People of Israel, I am fair. It is what you do that is not fair.” 1

Phil Yancey explains, “Perhaps God engages our universe, his own creation, in much the same way. He grants us freedom to rebel against its original design, yet even as we do so we end up “ironically” serving his eventual goal of restoration. If I accept that blueprint—a huge step of faith, I confess—it transforms how I view both good and bad things that happen. Good things, such as health, talent, and money, I can present to God as offerings for his use. And bad things too—disability, poverty, family dysfunction, failures—can be “redeemed” as the very instruments that drive me to God.” 2

My experience has been consistent with the Bible, “the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” 3

1 – Ezekiel 18:25-29, NCV

2 – Phillip Yancey’s Reaching For The Invisible God is available here.

3 – Isaiah 30:18, NIV