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Nov 25

Thanksgiving Drama Defense

Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

angry-girl-1098247-mAlmost every week I hear someone say, “she made me…” or “he made me…” as if they could.

Without a doubt we influence one another, but far too often we justify bad attitudes and hurtful responses because of the attitudes and decisions of others.

This week when tempers flare during your holiday gatherings here are three strategies to drop the drama:

1. Choose to use a soft voice.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.“ 1

Regardless what the other person chooses you can chose a soft and kind tone in your voice.

Nov 5

Stormy Night

Posted on Wednesday, November 5, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, TreeHouse, Values

treebranchessky-74600_640Gender bashing
Culture clashing

Voices
Cascading
Even louder
Like crashing symbols

Yelling
Screaming
Stammering
Clawing for attention

No!
You’re wrong!
That’s $%^&&*&* up!

Listen!
Point made
Counterpoint

Last night I had the hardest support group I’ve led in more than ten years. Teens yelling, screaming, not listening to one another nearly enough.

At TreeHouse teens learn that they are not alone in dealing with any issue. There is always someone who can relate to what is going on in another group member’s life. Teens learn how to support someone else in need. They are reminded that they are lovable, capable and worthwhile. TreeHouse support groups become a place where youth know that they will always be listened to and that what they say matters to others.

Oct 30

Vertigo

Posted on Thursday, October 30, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Uncategorized

214591_sad_eggAs fun as yesterday was, today I’ve been laid up with vertigo.

I’ve had vertigo several times. Vertigo, also known as Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV), is disconcerting.

I haven’t been drunk in many years, but I casually explain that vertigo feels like being drunk without any of “the fun” someone might have hoped for.

Usually when I’ve had vertigo symptoms once I do the Epley Maneuver the spins and the nausea caused by vertigo go away within a few hours. This time, no.

Oct 29

10k Wedding-Day Anniversary

Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Music, Relational, Social, Values

10kWeddingDayJune 13, 1987, that’s our wedding day.

My wife and I have a monthly tradition to celebrate all “13th” of the month.

Like most couples we celebrate our anniversary each year.

Today we’re adding another tradition I hope happens again.

We’re now celebrating every 10,000 days too. =)

Today is our 10k-wedding-day anniversary!

10K ?

When I was a kid I hated math homework, but, over the years I’ve learned that I love math. Now, my favorite part of following sports is the analytics. 1

Oct 1

Royals Run

Posted on Wednesday, October 1, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Sports, Values

15407957605_a741664d06_mI love baseball. Last night I got home from work in time to watch the end of a great MLB playoff game between the Oakland A’s and the host Kansas City Royals.

At one point in the game the A’s lead over the Royals was so overwhelming statisticians at Fangraphs estimate that the Royals had a 3% (yes, three percent) chance of winning. See chart below.

Did the Royals give up? No. Did they muscle-up and power their way to victory? No, that was unlikely. According to ESPN.com they had the least home runs in all of baseball. What they could do was run. The Royals had the most stolen bases in MLB.

Aug 20

Good, Fine and Flies

Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2014 in How To, Relational, Social, Values

2fliesWe have a small bucket outside our garage door. When we don’t want to walk to the back corner of our backyard to the compost pile we toss compostable kitchen scraps into the bucket.

Yesterday as I threw some scraps into the bucket dozens of flies instantly and unexpectedly flew out of the bucket.

Flies

Al Andrews wrote a humble and insightful post entitled, What To Say When Everything Is Not “Fine”.

It made me think of our bucket of flies.

Aug 14

Captivate by Interdependence

Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

heartsmanyYesterday was our 326-month wedding anniversary.
It’s also just a start.

Asking someone out is a start.
Dating is a shared-journey.
A wedding is a transitional celebration.
A marriage is an interdependent challenge.

Interdependence

I’m naturally introverted.
Therefore, community doesn’t come naturally.
Romance wasn’t in my born-with skill sets.
Interdependence seemed like weakness.

On the other hand, I wanted a long and happy marriage.

Interdependent Marriage

Aug 12

Captivated by Hope

Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI have a friend learning to overcome her addiction. She’s at Hazelden looking for hope and skills. Last month Robin Williams was doing the same thing.

Sadly, yesterday the news spread that he’d given up his search.

Hope-less

Without hope
…parents give up
…the tempted give in
…spouses give up
…students drop out
…employers lessen expectations
…lovers give in
…lonely people lower standards
…people give up.

Too often people
…feel all alone
…feel unheard
…feel disconnected
…feel hopeless

In my experience people feel hope-less far more often than they need to.

Jul 31

Finish

Posted on Thursday, July 31, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Intellectual, Relational, Spiritual, Values

finishIt’s Chalkboard Week. If you missed one:

Chalkboard
Cures
Frail

Todays Chalkboard: “I will finish what I sta” (written only once implying the text would be: I will finish what I started)

Bart didn’t and wasn’t likely to finish his list. He was excited. He raced out of the classroom and the school. Too often when you and I don’t finish something we don’t skip away we trip and fall over the pile of unfinished.

Sometimes I feel like a failure.

Jul 4

Mid-Year Freedom Message

Posted on Friday, July 4, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Spiritual, Values

fireworks1375076Today is Independence Day.

Could This Be Your Independence Day?

Excursus: This day is special for another reason, it’s Amy & Phil Hatcher’s wedding anniversary.  Congrats you two!

Independence is on my mind.

Independence for youIndependence for me.

True independence

True independence.  As my friend Jenny Dwyer said, is “Nothing missing.  Nothing broken.”

My prayers are for you who, like me, need some more independence from our baggage:

- My friends who are trapped in their time-wasters.

- My friends who are caught in the trap of coping by cutting.