The Love & Respect Experience By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love”

If you’re a typical husband:
– you’re not eager to be vulnerable
– you don’t want to be corrected or enjoy opportunities to challenge your behavior
– you don’t want to schedule weekly interrogation sessions
Those concerns are addressed in the book. 

This book is meant to build you up, not to break you down.

The devotions are easy to follow and quite short — 800-900 words each — three or four minutes of reading.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life.
Many of them could easily have been avoided.

Fortunately, not one of my mistakes has ended in the headlines.

Headlines

Dallas Morning News reported today that Major League baseball player, “Rangers’ Josh Hamilton has relapse with alcohol at area bar.”  USA Today, Washington Post, Fox Sports, it’s on the news, it’s filling the headlines.

“Someone went to a bar” is hardly news. “Someone had a few drinks” isn’t either.  Unless that someone is, as Jeff Passan described him, the “most famous addict in sports.”  Then, everyone who knows about you knows that that’s a problem.  Josh Hamilton’s story of self-destruction, sobriety, redemption and success have been well-documented including his autobiographical Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back.

The Pro Bowl is the NFL’s version of an all-star game. Pro Bowl players are selected by votes from the coaches, players and fans, each of which count for a third of the votes. 

Choosing the best possible players doesn’t guarantee success.  Each player still has the responsibility to perform at his highest level in concert with his fellow teammates.

Game Planning

If you could choose a roster of friends would you have chosen someone like yourself? If you could game plan how you relate to your friends would you make the same choices that you have? If you could game plan how your friends related to you would you make the same choices that they do?

Ladies and Gentlemen, this week Shawn White road the GREATEST snowboard run in recorded history!  Watch it!

In honor of Shawn White’s courage and determination and hard work, if you want to have a Gold-Medal winning friendship I’ve got some advice. 

“Wait a minute!”  I know, this week I’m writing about Pro Bowl quality friendships, but I’m diverting the metaphor for today.

I know mixing my metaphors is a no-no, but he got a perfect score!

Locate The Trouble Spot – Try to assess what has gone wrong. Ask yourself, “How did we get into this mess?”

Pro Bowl, all-star quality, friendships are hard work.  This week I’m sharing five strategies that will improve your relationships and deepen their commitment.

Yesterday we addressed how important it is to:

Locate The Trouble Spot

Look back. Try to assess what has gone wrong.
Where did the misunderstanding or conflict begin?

Then, as often as needed, apologize.

Apologize When You’re Wrong

All of us mess up. It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from admitting it and trying to patch up the relationship. You might have One Republic’s song “Apologize” running through your head:

Just in case I needed another “WHAT is happening in our world” moment, news out of Scotland:

“Sex trafficking victims reveal horror of witchcraft and torture being used to enslave women in Scotland“

Assuming it’s true — and I have no reason not to think it isn’t — it’s so heart-breaking and horrific.

FML

One “victim had been trafficked from Africa and was only prostituted in Scotland. She was trafficked by a trusted community member she turned to after witnessing the murder of her parents and grandparents by the police.”

Cuts lined her arms.
He drinks himself into oblivion.

She chases after “Mr. Perfect.”
He’s looking to “hit it.”

She’s settling.
He’s settling.

You must love yourself before you can love another.

Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t “settle.”
- Don’t let addictions stand in your way.
- Don’t let lies blind you.
- Don’t let self-pity poison your heart.

“You’re better than that!!!”  That’s mysilentscream.

“Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?”

Charlie Bales has an unusually large nose and is an easy target for Insults and putdowns. 1

Confronted by an adversary who calls him “Big Nose” Bales diminishes the power of the insult by creating twenty insults of his own, including:

Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us.
Punctual: All right…your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late.
Humorous: Laugh & the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it’s goodbye, Seattle!
Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee…in Brazil. 2

My friend Jimmy Cooper has one of those experiences that you want, and don’t want to have. I’ll let him explain. 1

 On January 19th, 2012 -  I was with my wife Christiane in our apartment in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. We had been out on a date and we had just gotten home. Actually, I guess we had been home for an hour or so and it was pretty late at night, about 1:30am. I started having an overwhelming feeling that I needed to lie down. It was out of the blue and I couldn’t fight it, so I lay down in bed and closed my eyes. I wasn’t feeling well and it came on so quickly, I just had to close my eyes.

Football players cleaning out their lockers feel it.
Presidential hopefuls reviewing the debates feel it.
American Idols wannabes and coulda-beens feel it.

What is “it”?  Self- pity.  Self-doubt.  The curse of “if only.”

Don’t let self-pity take you down!

You are lovable even when your flaws are exposed.
You are capable even when you make mistakes.
You are worthwhile even when you’re struggling to believe it.

Somewhere there is someone that values you abilities.
Somewhere there is someone that sees your talents.
Somewhere there is someone that needs your skills.