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Aug 26

Broken Mirrors

Posted on Tuesday, August 26, 2014 in Uncategorized

broken-mirror-1128615-mShouting.
Crash.
Slam.

He could hear the yelling from the neighbors’ house every night.

Shouts of anger.
Shouts of pain.
Shouts of passion.
He wondered,
“Was there any gain?”

The Cost of Turmoil

Teens, families, friendships and all kinds of relationships suffer because of the lack of peaceful conflict resolution skills. Conflicts arise, those involved feel hurt, disappointed, afraid or frustrated, and it quickly turns into anger. Anger often erupts in retaliation or brutal honesty. Alienation increases, relationships are broken, and scars are formed.

Day after day, unresolved anger builds. Poor communication habits repeat themselves. People are hurt, walls are formed, and we all feel a little more alone.

How Can You Help A Teen With Unresolved Anger?

Amid the turmoil, teens need helpful role modeling and healthy boundaries.

Model the healthy definition of anger – A healthy expression of anger involves confrontation of what has prevented our needs from being met or has blocked our goals.

Model the healthy expression of anger — Healthy anger is not to intended to punish or justify violence; nor is it meant to intimidate, control or manipulate.

Typically we tend to either fight back or give-in. Instead of fighting back avoid taking “the bait” if they try to draw you into a fight. Resist the temptation to retaliate.

Sometimes it’s better to withdraw from the conflict. Allow tempers to cool. When you resume the conversation focus on the issue at hand. Rather than reinforcing through conflict that power is what they need, find ways for them to use their power cooperatively.

Model the healthy method to assess a healthy response to anger – Anger is a feeling expressing the desire for power. The angry person believes their value comes from challenging authority.

#mysilentscream: Model healthy relationships. People notice; even people in pain.

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