Posted on Friday, February 15, 2013
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values
It’s the day after Valentines Day.
Some people had a great Valentines Day, others did not.
Just as some people have great relationships, some not.
“I can’t believe it,” she said, “my best friend told me that she heard that my sister has been sleeping with my boyfriend. When she got home I asked my sister about the rumor. She didn’t deny it, ‘He’s was gonna break up with you anyway.’”
Maybe you haven’t had a situation like that, but you have been wounded by relationship. Maybe you have had a healthy, successful relationships, but you know someone who isn’t in one. Here’s an opportunity for you to receive some support, or you to have some helpful advice to share with a friend.
Today and tomorrow I’ll highlight some wise advice from author Therese J. Borchard, author of 10 Tips to Mend a Broken Heart.
1. Go through it, not around it.
By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head on. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over me.
2. Detach and revel in your independence again.
When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it… creatively, and with the help of my higher power.
3. List your strengths.
4. Allow some fantasizing.
Grief wouldn’t be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost…telling yourself “I’m not going to fantasize about her” or “I won’t think about what it would be like to be intimate with him” might make it worse.
5. Help someone else.
When you turn your attention to another person — especially someone who is struggling with the same kind of pain — you forget about yourself for a split moment.
Thanks for reading. Come back for more on Monday.