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Nov 30

Become A Helpful Mentor

Posted on Friday, November 30, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Last Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1. Don’t Hold Grudges
2. Take Care Of Your Health.
3. Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking
4. Greed Gains Momentum

5. Gratitude Leads To Contentment
6. Contentment Leads To Generosity
7. Everyone Splashes. Splash Blessings.
8. Find A Mentor
9. Why Become A Mentor?

Becoming A Helpful Mentor – What Others Have Said

Believe in investing in someone else’s life.
Be intentional in caring about others.

Believe in the value of helping others to see their dreams.
Believe in the importance of helping others to know their role in God’s kingdom.

Believe in the importance of introducing people to one another.
Believe in the importance of breaking stereotypes.

Teach your mentee how to stop patterns of dysfunction.
Don’t let your mentee be satisfied with small dreams.

Mentoring Principles I Practice

Share your mentee: Expose them to other role models.
Learn from them.
Include them in your family when appropriate.
Listen, listen, listen to them.
Love, Love, Love them.
Serve them.
Serve with them.
Let them fail or succeed, then process to help them grow.
Confront them when necessary.

Do’s:

Do pray for wisdom.
Do maintain confidentiality.
Do listen.  No, listen, listen, listen!
Do give straightforward and honest feedback.
Do share your own experiences.
Do share your successes.  They might inspire your mentee.
Do share your shortcomings. They might help your mentee feel less “like a failure.”
Do share your failures.  They might be more helpful than your successes.
Do maintain confidentiality.
Do offer encouragement.
Do teach.

Don’ts:

Don’t be hypercritical.
Don’t be hypocritical.
Don’t hold back constructive feedback.
Don’t be afraid of hurting the person’s feelings.
Don’t recommend practices or experiences that you wouldn’t do.
Don’t make promises you don’t or can’t fulfill
Don’t manipulate.
Don’t gossip.
Don’t think that you “have to have it all figured out.”

One mentor explained, “Often the best mentors are those one life stage ahead of the person beneath them.”

Intentionally Model “How To Mentor”

Pass on vision; vision with real grit.
Pass on vision with nuts and bolts practical wisdom.
Pass on vision and help others to achieve their goals.

Finally, become the person you hope others become:

Twenty times the gospel writers quoted Jesus saying, “Follow me.” 1

Paul of Tarsus said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 2

Later he added, “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.” 3

1 – “Follow me
2 – 1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV
3 – Philippians 3:17, NIV

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