Posted on Friday, August 31, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values
Sometimes I feel like a failure.
Whether it’s feeling overwhelmed, “I don’t have enough money”, “there’s not enough time”, or just being lazy, a fear of failure or the fear of success, or the classic “I’ll get to it later”, sometimes things just don’t get done.
What else can go wrong?
So many things, including:
– Unexpected car repairs: ~$600
– Two computers that stopped working
– Late for work
– Misplaced paperwork
And, that’s just in the last three days
How Can We Fight Back?
Here’s a formula I’m using:
When your goal < your fear = it’s easy to stay stuck in your past
When your goal > your fear = it’s likely you’ll experience growth in your future
Q – How can you improve your appreciation for your goals?
A – Fight your fears.
Here are several time-tested suggestions that have helped me and many other people make progress as we seek to overcome our fears: 1
GET HELP – Ask a trusted friend or family member to accompany you on your first attempt at difficult activities. Just be sure to carry out the task by yourself later.
GUARD YOUR MIND – Don’t give in to mind chatter such as, “I can’t do this,” “This is stupid,” “I’ll look like a fool,” or “This exercise won’t help!” Thoughts like these are merely thoughts, nothing more. Notice how interesting this mind chatter is, but don’t be seduced into believing it.
GIFT YOURSELF – Reward yourself for the successful completion of any difficult steps. Treat yourself to something special — you deserve it!
GET READY – Allow yourself to feel some discomfort. After all, this work is difficult. It’s okay to feel anxious at times — that shows you’re making progress. Just don’t forget, “no pain, no gain.”
GIVE YOUR OWN PEP TALK – Tell yourself that you can overcome your fears. Be positive. Beating your fears may take some time, but you can do it.
GUARD YOUR BODY – Don’t use crutches such as alcohol or excessive medication to get through steps. Crutches diminish the effectiveness of exposure. Try not to distract yourself with chants, songs, or other rituals, either.
GO TO GOD – Try praying, “Help me, Lord my God; save me according to your unfailing love…You are my God. Show me what you want me to do, and let your gentle Spirit lead me in the right path.” 2
Remember genuine change takes time, and this isn’t a race!
This is mysilentscream!
1 – This list is edited from a list I found in the Anxiety & Depression Workbook For Dummies by Charles H. Elliott, and Laura L. Smith.
2 – Psalm 109:26, NIV and Psalm 143:10, CEV