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Dec 31

5 Relationship Tips from Big Bang Theory

Posted on Tuesday, December 31, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

BBTThis Christmas my wife bought me (by my request) season 6 of CBS’s The Big Bang Theory television show.

1. Be patient. 1

Bernadette: So, you actually see you and Sheldon getting married someday?
Amy: Not just someday. In exactly four years. But don’t tell Sheldon. He’s still a flight risk.

Patient fishing catches fish. Impatient pursuit scares away many potential catches.

2. Don’t be pushy. 2

Mrs Wolowitz: Howard. Can you hear me?
Howard: I can hear you without the phone,
Mrs Wolowitz: Don’t be snippy. I’m just excited to talk to my baby.
Howard: I’m excited to talk to you, too.
Mrs Wolowitz: So, what’s this mishegas about you moving out to go live with the little Polish girl?
Howard: How about calling her my wife?
Mrs Wolowitz: Wives don’t take boys from their mothers.
Howard: They do. That’s why we marry them.

Pushy people push people…AWAY.

3. Honesty builds trust. Dishonesty tears it down. 3

Bernadette: Good for you. I just had a seemingly endless dinner with your mom.
Howard: Oh, yeah? That’s nice.
Bernadette: It was. Until I found out you never told her we’re not gonna live with her. Let’s talk about that for a minute.
Howard: Hey, look, this pen is floating. How crazy is that?
Bernadette: You said you told her, but you never did!
Howard: Okay, okay, I know you’re upset, but let me share something I’ve learned since I got here. You realize how small your problems are when you’re looking down on them from space. Now, come on, that’s got to make you feel better.
Bernadette: How clear is the image of me on that screen?
Howard: Pretty clear.

Honesty builds trust. Dishonesty tears it down.

4. Keep confidences (unless lives are in danger). 4

Sheldon: … You’re good people, Leonard. There’s something I need to tell you.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: I can’t tell you.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: I can’t tell you why I can’t tell you. So I guess there’s two things I can’t tell you.
Leonard: I wish there were more.

Sheldon was baiting Leonard so he could justify passing on information. Don’t do that. Confidentiality is an important dimension of trusting relationships.

5. Beware of the mixed-motives of meddlers. 5

Sheldon: I can’t keep up this clever charade any longer. She told me that you were thinking of ending it with Leonard.
Penny: Okay, you listen to me. I think it’s really sweet you’re trying to protect your friend, but this is none of your business. Got it?
Sheldon: Excuse me. This is not about protecting my friend. I’m a big fan of homeostasis. Do you know what that is?
Penny: Of course not.
Sheldon: Homeostasis…my point is I don’t like when things change. So, regardless of your feelings, I would like you to continue dating Leonard.

No one always has pure motives, but meddlers seldom have your best interests in mind. When decision-making I have found that praying – “Please God help me…” – has help me find clarity.

1 – Season 6, Episode 01
2 – Season 6, Episode 01
3 – Season 6, Episode 01
4 – Season 6, Episode 02
5 – Season 6, Episode 02

Bring on the comments

  1. Very entertaining and full of thought. Thanks Scott. Happy New Year.

  2. Thanks Angi!
    The research was delightful.
    =)

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