Posted on Thursday, December 20, 2012
I believe almost all mysilentscream readers want to have good friends, and be a good friend.
Last week I spent time with my two longest-term best friends, Steve and Murph. While spending time in and easy conversation with old friends I was reminded what a treasure they are to me.
I also was reminded how often I take them and our friendships for granted.
I hope that you have less regrets in your friendships. Maybe this assessment will help you evaluate how good of a friend you are. As you take it I hope that you
– Feel encouraged that you have some helpful friendship skills
– Find some strategies that aren’t helping you or your friends
Assess Your Friendship Value
Do you show that you’re open to building a friendship?
Do you show that you’re busy and maybe not available?
Do you reach out to others?
Do you expect that your friends will call or come to see you?
When you text, leave a message or voicemail, you expect a quick reply?
Do you follow the same standard that you expect others to follow?
When you make a new friend:
Do you think about what you can bring to the friendship?
Do you think about what you can get out of the friendship?
Do you take an interest in what matters to others?
Do you approach others with the attitude that they should follow your lead?
Are you a attentive listener?
Do you care more about being heard?
Do you invest in others generously?
Or, do you require a “fair” 50/50 friendship?
Do you live a consistent life based on your values and beliefs?
Do others see you as unstable and unreliable?
Are you loyal listener who guards your friends’ secrets?
Are you someone who “can’t help” but share the news?
Can you enjoy the success your friends enjoy?
When your friends succeed do you feel jealous and feed on self-pity?
If your friend needs to be granted forgiveness, can she count on you?
If you’re at fault, will you be humble enough to ask for forgiveness?
Can you listen when a friend tells you that you’ve hurt her?
Do you withdraw or get defensive when you’re told you wounded a friend?
If you’re forgiven by your wounded friend will you guard that trust?
When you’re forgiven do tend to make the same mistakes again and again?
This season your response to these question might be very important:
Do you give gifts generously?
Do you require that “gifts” are even trades?