Posted on Tuesday, January 7, 2014 in Uncategorized
I’ve spent more than twenty years “Inspiring Great Relationships Every Day.” I enjoy when I can pass on something I am learning, but many times in those conversations it was me who was the learner.
Today was no different.
Today I sat down with my friends Lizzy and Bueno. We laughed. We told stories. We love gardening so we exchanged seeds. And we talked.
In a world desperate for positive role models, over the past three years Lizzy and Bueno have been role models of what a healthy relationship looks like.
So I asked them, “What’s helps your relationship to be so good and last so long?” With a wink and a smile I’ll let you decide who said what, but it was obvious in our conversation they were in agreement that these tips, principles and practices were working for them and that they might work for you too.
19 Proven-Relationship Tips from Lizzy & Bueno
1. Make sure the guy knows you’re always right. (laughter)
2. If you try to prove she’s not always right you’ll regret it. (more laughter)
3. Tell the person when you’re stressed out.
4. Don’t assume the other person knows you’re stressed out.
5. Apologize if you direct the grumpiness at the other person that she/he knows what’s going on.
6. Don’t take that person for granted.
7. Make sure she knows that you care even if you’re not there with her.
8. Distance can actually make a relationship stronger.
9. You can be silly and not serious all the time. Serious and silly moments will both make the relationship more entertaining.
10. Make the most of the time you have with each other.
11. Little things matter; even picking up a daisy.
12. Don’t always try to be right.
13. You have to allow each person to talk and not talk over the other person. You each need your voice.
14. Make sure you know how to communicate your feelings.
– Bueno: I have a hard time with that.
– Lizzy: I know.
– Bueno: I’m trying to work on that.
– Together: (They laughed)
15. Make sure to ask, “How was your day?” to show you’re interested in what the other has been doing.
16. “Don’t take all your anger out on them,” said Lizzy. “Or, at least warn them first,” added Bueno.
17. Tell them what will happen in the future with your career so they won’t be surprised by it.
18. Tell them frequently how much they mean to you.
19. Show that you want to be part of the family (even where there are challenges).
Finally, I asked: Some people who go out for three years are called “parents.” Their choices led to an unplanned pregnancy. You aren’t parents. What choices do you make that helps you not be parents?
– We live 3-4 hours away eight months a year.
– I’m working.
– Spend time with the family and not alone.
– Try to do other stuff rather than sitting around doing nothing.
– Set boundaries and keep them.
Bueno and Lizzy also ask for God’s help.
These are some of their secrets of success. What are yours?