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Sep 27

10 Tips To Help You Survive Your Breakup

Posted on Monday, September 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

Today I received a text intended for someone else:

“im sorry i know it doesnt matter to you , its juss i dont have anyone to talk too . soo i juss wanna let it out . [The guy’s name] im sorry for whatver i did to make you unhappy , im sorry if i ever hurt you in any type of way . i love you tooo much too ever walk away from you </3 itss sooo hard to not love you . idint know you had this side to you , i was  alwayss there for you … i wass theree when you cryed , i was there all the times you hurt . i really tryed to alwayss be there for you </3 im sorry . thankyou for atleast loving me once back then :”(  & thankss for atleast pretending to love me 3 dayss ago, cause i actually did believe you </3 but juss know as hard as i try too , ill never forget you & ill never ever stop loving you </3”

My first guess thought was that really be a hurting young woman.  Why?
– “Hurting” seems obvious.
– “Young” was an assumption though I’ve met several “grown ups” who text like this.
– “Woman” was an assumption because I don’t know any guys who use </3 repeatedly.

Note: <3 = Love or Heart and </3 means unloved or brokenhearted

If you or someone you love sounds like her, is brokenhearted over a breakup, and needs some wise counsel here are some helpful tips.

Five Key Beliefs To Get You Through The Pain Of A Breakup

1.  You have a right to feel sad and lonely; to grieve.
2.  You don’t have to grieve alone.  Find a trustworthy friend, therapist, life coach, etc.
3.  You will survive.
4.  Love never goes to waste.
5.  God is good and always here to listen.

Not wanting her to be the subject of “Letters to Juliet 2” I replied: “You sent that text to the wrong person.  I am not [the guy’s name].”

She replied: “oh im sorry”

I followed up with: “No prob. Try to remember what he may have said may not have been what his heart was. Whatever happens “don’t settle”. I’ve counseled thousands of young women and far too many had low standards for the guys they chose.”

To which she replied: “hahaha thankyouu , im sorry for sending you the wrong meesage ill remember that advice & plus me & the guy are over he’s not comming back.”

Five Tips To Carry With You While You’re Carrying Your Pain

1.  Don’t try to manipulate the other person.  It disrespects both of you: “im sorry i know it doesnt matter to you…”

2.  Do fight off the temptation to be codependent — it pushes healthy people away: “i love you tooo much too ever walk away from you … ill never forget you & ill never ever stop loving you”

3.  Do remember how you successfully coped with pain in the past.  Self-pity is unattractive: “thankyou for atleast loving me once back then…”

4.  “Don’t settle” for the wrong person.  You will find heartbreak rather than true love.

5.  Don’t jump into another relationship regardless how lonely you feel.  If you continually have bad relationships.  Choose singleness for a while.  It’s time to recreate yourself into the kind of person who is attractive to good, healthy, caring, stable people.

Everyone experiences hardship.  In the midst of heartbreak it helps to stay level-headed.

To quote Donald Miller, “We are not going to get the love we really need from each other. We are going to get it from God, in heaven. Until then, we have an awesome opportunity to practice committed love with each other.”

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